We're off again

We're leaving in a few hours. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to blog or email so if I'm MIA, you'll know why. :)

I have to be honest, I'm not doing good. I've been really depressed. I've been snapping at Mark, crabby at my family, crying a lot.

Yesterday Mark and I baby-sat a perfect baby. She was sooooo good and I wanted to keep her. It was so hard to let her go. And I keep thinking if the IVF would have worked, I'd be going into my second trimester now. We wouldn't have to fly 1000s of miles away. We wouldn't be spending this money. We could be resting at home enjoying the weekend. Tyler could have spent the night instead of me watching him cry because he couldn't. I wouldn't be so snappy at Mark. We wouldn't be having to look into donor eggs.

I just can't stop thinking about it.

I really hope I can get on the computer. I don't know how I'm going to do it without my blogland.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support. It means sooooo much to me. It really does. I only wish I could hug each and every one of you.

((((HUGS))))