Update, busy and prayer request

I have to apologize in advance. I won't be able to blog or reading blogs for the next few days. We're having our Wondra Peanut Fund garage sale starting tomorrow and going all weekend. We've been sooooo busy getting ready for it and have so much to do, so I'll be MIA for a few days. Know I'll be thinking of you guys soooo much!!!!

Also, my brother is having surgery today. He's got 2 little kids and I know it's going to be a rough go for awhile for the whole family. Could you please keep them in your prayers? His name is Chad. Thank you!!!

Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend! Love you all!!!! Thank you so much for your support lately! It means more than you know!!!

The perfect license plate

Mark and I saw this license plate the other day and thought it was so funny. So, I had to take a picture.

It rings so true between Mark and I.



(In case you can't read it, it says "Driver carries no cash. He's married")

Tyler's T-ball

Tyler played T-ball this summer. So, of course, I had to show off some pictures. :)


Me and Peyton

The fans. Shortly after this, we all did the wave. It isn't a ball game unless you do the wave!

Tyler running the bases

Tyler batting

Tyler EXTREMELY excited to be playing first base. Doesn't he look so thrilled?? :)

I am so blessed

1. Yesterday Mark had a checkup with his nephrologist (kidney doctor). He was amazed at how well Mark is doing. He said he continues to look better and better and is very happy that Mark is doing more and more. He made no changes and says we don't have to go back for a full YEAR! That's amazing news! We are so excited about that!

2. Next weekend we're having a big garage sale. Our county fair is right next to our house and we have a sale every year when the fair is going on. This year, we asked family and friends if they would like to donate to our sale with proceeds going to our peanut fund. We have been amazed at the amount of donations. Our truck is full and we still have 3 truckloads coming. It's amazing how gracious people are. Here are pictures of our garage:


Just some of the clothes (I couldn't get all the tables in the picture) and tons more in boxes that aren't on tables yet.

(This looks like a mess, but believe it or not, it's organized, all priced and just needs to be set out on tables).

I can tell you, if it rains, we're screwed. There is no way we'll fit everything in the garage....so pray for nice, sunny weather next weekend. :)

3. You guys are so sweet for commenting and being so excited for us with the embryos we're receiving! THANK YOU! Steve and Kami are truly so selfless to give us such a gift and you guys are so sweet to be so excited. If you get a chance, please hop over to Kami's blog and tell her how sweet and selfless she is. It would mean a lot to me.

4. We get to watch our great-niece, Draven, tomorrow. And we were told of everyone who wants to baby-sit, we are the first choice and that just melts my heart. To be trusted that much is such an honor.

I sometimes wonder how in the world I got so lucky. God is so good to me.

Welcome July ICLW!!

Welcome ICLW! For those who don’t know what it is, check out the link on the right.

I've seen some people do the "ABCs" introduction and I'd love to do that, but I ran out of time this month, so I'll do that next month. :)

So instead, I'll give a short introduction with a little history of me and the reason I put this blog together, the wonderful world of infertility.

I married my hubby in May 2001. He has struggled with a lot of health issues. He’s a diabetic and has had 3 documented heart attacks. He’s had triple bypass surgery and a kidney transplant. Our struggles have only brought us closer together and God has gotten us through them. God is so good to us.

In July 2003, Mark was feeling better after his transplant and we decided to try for a baby. We tried the natural way for almost 3 years off and on as Mark continued to struggle with health issues and had to endure hospitalizations at times.

In March 2006, we saw our doctor about our infertility struggles. We started doing research about things and talking to more and more doctors. It seemed like it was a never-ending thing as all infertiles know.

In April 2007, we started IUIs. After 12 BFNs, we decided to go onto IVF. Although I responded great to the meds and had a great number of eggs retrieved, only 4 eggs fertilized but failed to divide. Although the genetic testing came back normal, we were told it was most likely an egg quality issue and we were told we would have to use donor eggs.

Since then we have tried to do a known donor cycle which didn’t work out because of the distance, a known adoption which didn’t work and a donor egg study which didn’t work. We have currently seen a psychologist and have been approved for the donor embryo waiting list at our clinic.

***Newest update!!!!***

And we just received some very exciting news this past month! Our dear friend, Kami, and her husband have given us 3 embryos! When Kami has given birth to her precious twins, the embryos will be transferred to us and we can begin our journey once again! We are super excited!!

More details of our journey can be found on the right along with our IVF blog describing our IVF journey.

Thank you so much for coming to visit my blog! It means so much to me. I hope you continue to follow my journey and I hope to follow yours and get to know each other so much better. I wish you all the very best in your journey.

The downside of reunions

Yesterday I had a gymnastics reunion. We do it every summer and winter and it’s a lot of fun to see some of my old teammates from high school. We laugh and catch up and have a good time.

I have a question though....why does it seem that all kinds of reunions always seem to focus on babies? Who’s pregnant, who has kids, who’s trying to have kids, labor stories, pregnancy stories, etc.

I’m definitely not saying those things shouldn’t be talked about. I just noticed how much they were talked about. Maybe it was more me focusing on it that made me think that’s all we really talked about.

I felt like I was in a completely different category. Like I was in a box, a complete stranger, just sitting there, not being able to contribute to anything and hoping and praying that nobody would ask me and yet, being somewhat offended when no one asked me. What’s up with that?

I do think a lot of them knew about our struggles which was why nobody asked which I felt very grateful for. I knew if I had to explain things in front of people, I would probably start crying. And yet, in some ways, I wanted to have the sympathy because, I’m ashamed to admit, hearing about who was pregnant and who was trying was getting to me and I was feeling selfish...like I was thinking how did she get pregnant so easy? She is way too immature to have a child. Why is she trying? She has no financial support. Why does she have 5 kids and I can’t even have 1? How are these things fair?

I’m very ashamed to admit that. Of course, I’m not the one who can decide who gets pregnant and who doesn’t. Only God knows and it’s all about what He decides.

It still hurts sometimes though and those evil thoughts that I wish didn’t come, still come. And I did have a good cry when I got home.

I did have one person ask if Mark and I were still trying when it was just the 2 of us and I explained to her what was going on. She felt so bad and said something to me that just really struck me. She told me that she was amazed at how much Mark and I had to go through, not just with the infertility but with all the health issues, too. She said we were so strong and that she knew she couldn’t go through everything we had been through. It is always comforting for me to hear people say that. Not so much to boost my self-confidence up or to brag about how “strong” I am, but I hope to help someone else out in case they are ever in that situation and somehow my struggles and situation can help give them the strength and encouragement they need to get through it. Like if they have an ill spouse and are at their wit’s end, they can think, if Tammy can deal with this with Mark plus their infertility issues, I can do this.

Like I’ve said many, many times, if I can help one person, it’s all worth it.

But I may have to skip my 15-year high school class reunion this year (yikes—did I really just say that??? Seriously, 15 YEARS????). I really don’t think I can handle another reunion at this time. Maybe it’s better to wait until our 50-year high school reunion when we talk about our bowel movements and getting advice on how to be more regular.

Morning started out a little rough :(

This week I’ve been working a lot, up to 12 hours a day. Usually I don’t sleep well at night, but this week, I’ve been sleeping like a baby.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t so good last night that I slept so well. I woke up at 2:30 in the morning and could tell Mark wasn’t in the bed. I found him laying on the floor in our bedroom in an insulin reaction. He was sweating and not responding to me at all.

Of course that wasn’t easy for me to see and I panicked right away. I was also panicking because Peyton was sleeping in the other room and I certainly didn’t want her to see her Uncle Mark like that.

So, in my best fast, but quiet way, I hurriedly got the sugar shot and gave Mark a shot. Usually it’ll take about 5 minutes for Mark to start coming to with the shot. I was hoping and praying that Peyton wouldn’t wake up, see the light in our bedroom and come in there. She still talks about the time Mark passed out in church, so I know it would bother her. When she spends the night at our house, she’ll sometimes come into our room and sleep in the bed with us towards morning and I was hoping and praying she wouldn’t come in yet. I think that’s the only time I’ve ever hoped that. :)

I was so relieved when Mark started coming to. Of course he had no idea what had happened. He was very hungry so he was in the kitchen for awhile finding something to eat, with Peyton sleeping on the floor of the living room right next to the kitchen.

Soon he was feeling fine and came back to bed. Literally, just a couple minutes after we shut off the lights, Peyton comes in to sleep with us.

After first, I felt absolutely horrible that I didn’t wake up when Mark got up and I didn’t know how long he had been laying there. I was mad at myself for letting myself get so tired and I was wondering why God didn’t wake me up when I needed to.

But the more I thought about it, God did wake me up. He knew when Mark needed me and I was there for Mark. He may have been laying there for a couple hours or a couple minutes. But it doesn’t really matter as I was there when he needed me and that’s the most important.

But even more important than that was that God let Peyton sleep through it. She didn’t see her uncle in an insulin reaction and looking the way he did. I know that would have traumatized Peyton. And God let her sleep right through Mark in the kitchen getting something to eat when she could’ve easily have woken up. And then God had Peyton come sleep with us, just exactly when I needed some good loving and snuggles from her to make me feel better.

Thank you God for being there and answering my prayers.

Six years

When Mark and I first got married in 2001, we weren’t planning on having kids. Mark felt he was too old and had 2 boys already and with his health problems, he didn’t think having a baby would be real smart. At that time, I loved Mark so much that I didn’t think it would matter.

Then along came Tyler and he completely changed our minds. Tyler was born December 26, 2002 and we spent a lot of time with him. By the time he was 6 months old, we were so much in love with him that we started talking about trying ourselves. When I reminded Mark that he said he didn’t want to have more, he said God changed his heart, that he was so in love with Tyler, he loves kids and loves me and couldn’t imagine not having a child with me. I’ll never forget that moment.

That was 6 years ago. Six. Years.

Never in a million years did we think we’d have issues….never. My mom and sister had no problems and of course with Mark’s boys, we’d figure we would have no problems at all. But God had a different plan.

We started out naturally….nope.
Tried natural IUIs….nada.
Tried IUIs with various medications and injections….nopers.
Tried IVF…..sorry.
Found out I was infertile.
Realized adoption was pretty much out of the question.
Found a known donor…….shot down
Found a donor egg study……and shot down even harder
Had a possible known adoption opportunity…..shot down so hard the ground shook

Looking at this list, if I would’ve known 6 years ago that we would’ve had to go through all that to get a baby, plus all of Mark’s health issues including 2 heart attacks, a broken hip and many, many hospitalizations…..I can tell you, I don’t think we would’ve even tried. The journey would’ve ended before it began.

Plus, if someone would’ve told me from the very beginning that the only chance for a baby would be through donor embryos or donor eggs if we had enough money, I don’t think we would’ve even tried. We were so adamant that it would be our baby, Mark’s sperm, my egg and anything else just wasn’t acceptable to us. Of course now, as I’ve mentioned before, we’d take a baby from the mailman.

Because of this long journey that this month marks 6 years, I’ve grown so much. I’ve learned to open myself to other people, not only expressing myself but being there for others. I feel I used to be self-centered and not appreciate people or things as much as I do now. Maybe I’ve grown because I’m getting older….gulp….but I believe because of the things we’ve been through the last 6 years, it has changed me.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t want this journey to continue on. I want to close this chapter in my life. I want to have a baby, to share the experience with Mark. I want a part of his legacy. I want to watch his eyes looking into our child with so much love. I want him to rub my belly and feel the baby kick and see his reaction and love to our baby. I want to see his face when we face the ultrasound machine and hear the sweet sound of the baby’s heartbeat. I want to see his reactions through all this. I want to look at our baby and know that the baby was made through Mark’s and my legacy and our love. I want to go through it together and have our baby know his/her daddy and not just through pictures.

Sometimes it seems the last 6 years have gone by fast and other times so slow. I hope in 2010, instead of saying “it’s been 7 years of struggling and we still have no baby”….I hope I’m saying “I’m 7 weeks” or “7 months” and I can say “every last minute of these last 7 years has been worth it because of the miracle I’m carrying inside of me”.

Every. Last. Minute.

Pictures from a 3-year-old

Not too bad I would say. Even the close up of the shirt I think was good as I'm sure she was trying to focus on the beautiful colors. I'm thinking we've got a future photographer on our hands.

Yes, that is my dad....he is a geek.

Mark says he is on his way to Hawaii....

If you watch "The Bachelore.tte", you know why. I'm thinking my marriage may be in trouble.....

I also have to share this story. Rachel, this is especially for you. :)

Mark and I were in the car with Tyler and Peyton in the back seat. I was driving and had let out a silent fart. Sometimes my silent ones aren't so bad but I admit, sometimes they can definitely kill.

This one was definitely one that could kill and it didn't take long before I realized that....and the rest of the people in the car did, too.

Imagine lots of "Eww, Tammy!", "Did you have to?", "That's disgusting!", "Not in the car!", "Gross!"

I look over at Mark who starts rolling down the window, waving the air out the window.

Then I look in the back seat. Tyler and Peyton are both plugging their noses.

I said "Aww, come on guys, it wasn't that bad!"

Tyler (in a squeaky voice as he has his nose plugged): "Yeah it was! It wasn't to you because you did it, but it smells DISGUSTING!". Then he proceeds to roll down his window, too.

And sweet Peyton says (in a squeaky voice): "Yeah, Tammy, very disgusting" and then gets upset because she can't reach the window to roll it down while she's in the car seat.

Oops.....

Happiness is....

Being surrounded by 2 of our precious nieces. We are so blessed.

An amazing 5 minutes to start out my day

Last night we were watching a Lifetime movie. I love Lifet.ime movies….definitely can get addicted to them.

This morning I came into the living room and switched on the TV. I wanted to watch “Fu.ll Hou.se”…..yeah, weird but it’s my routine I guess. I still love that show, basically because I am a geek. The show was going to be on in 5 minutes. Anyway, the Lifet.ime network was on with Hou.r of Po.wer on. I was switching the channel when something stopped me. Something drew me to the preacher. There was something different about him (which will later turn into a “duh, Tammy” moment) and I thought I had seen him before. They were only doing an upper body shot while he was speaking.

Then, they did a whole body shot and my eyes filled with tears.

He had no arms or legs. His limbs were completely gone.

I think I’ve heard him preach before, but it’s been such a long time. And to be honest, I really can’t remember what he preached on but I do remember how much he talked about the Lord and how much he loves Him.

I was in awe at this guy. Here is a guy who has the ultimate struggle that any human being could ever imagine. And yet he not only seems to accept his disability, but openly praises God. What a huge testimony. I realized that no matter what struggles I’m going through, I can see through it and praise God. If this guy can, I definitely can.

What an amazing 5 minutes that turned out to be.

Below is just a little clip to let you see what he looks like

Prayer requests

**UPDATE*** Please read what Ajay said in the comments. She is such a sweet sister and very blessed to have her in my life. Love you Ajay!!!

First of all, I want to say that X, her husband and Mark and I had a really nice, much needed talk last night. They had read my blog and drove a couple hours to talk in person to sort everything out. We talked and prayed together and it was very nice and I feel much better and I hope they do, too. It was really nice that they drove down to talk things out and although we agree to disagree about some things, we know we always will be there for each other and love each other.

So X, if you're reading this, we love you so much and thanks for talking to us. That meant a lot! ((HUGS))

I also have a couple prayer requests:

1. My friend's (K) husband has been in and out of the hospital lately. He had viral meningitis and then a couple days after he was discharged, he was back in the ER and diagnosed with Bell's palsy. However, after having an abnormal brain MRI, they brought him down to an infectious specialist where he spent another day in the hospital and they still don't know what it is. Please keep them in your prayers. They also have a 1-1/2-year-old little boy.

2. My friend's (S) cousin recently passed away from brain cancer. He was only 38. He has a daughter who will be a junior in high school and a younger son (not sure of his age). My friend's family is all very, very close and so the last few weeks have been extremely hard on them. I've been talking to S almost every day for the last couple days and sometimes twice a day and so I know how hard this has been for her and the family. He was a Christian man who was so in love with the Lord so there is a lot of comfort in knowing he's in heaven, but it's still so hard for them. Please keep them in your prayers.

3. And Mark has my bug. :( We were hoping he would be lucky enough to bypass it but no such luck. Please pray that it doesn't affect his stomach to the point that he's throwing up and his gastroparesis acts up again. He's really nervous about that.

Thanks guys!

A few pictures...proof I'm a bad influence

I'm still having a little bit of sympathy sickness for Kami that has come and gone the last few days so still not feeling the best and not really up to blogging lately. This is a very long-lasting bug :(, but it's okay. :) I kind of like that it's sympathy sickness. :)

So today, I'm just going to post a few pictures I took lately. I taught the kids to stick out their tongue.....yes, I'm a bad aunt and I need serious therapy. :(




And this is Tyler and Peyton flexing those big muscles of theirs:

What Makes A Mother?

This was posted by onemorebaby yesterday. Onemorebaby has always been a very special friend to me. She's been there from the very beginning of our journey all the way to the present and I love her so much!

This is an awesome poem. I especially want to dedicate this to Stacey. Stacey was someone I was so fortunate to meet while in Texas and she has become a very special friend to me. She has struggled through so much and yesterday was an especially hard day for her. I can't imagine what she has been through and she is one of the strongest people I know. Please head over to her blog and give her some love. She is about the sweetest person you'll ever know. Love you sweetie!

Here's the poem!

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.


A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?


Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.


Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.


I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.


I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say


"We go to earth and learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.


I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.


I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."


So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.


So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.

(Jennifer Wasik)

Letter to our angel babies

To our sweet angels,

If my IVF would’ve worked, our due date would’ve been today, July 6. I still remember that day we were given the call and were told you guys, our precious angels, had gone to be with Jesus. We were on our way to a toy show with Grandma and Grandpa when they called on Mommy’s cell phone. I remember having to pull over to the side of the road and Daddy held me for a long time. I remember that exact spot and every time we go by it, I get chills and tear up. That was the spot our lives turned upside down.

I miss you, my precious angels. I think about you guys every day. I know you guys are so happy and are safe up in heaven, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I wish you were here with your daddy and I. I get sad some days, so very, very sad.

But, I’m so grateful for the time we did have together. All the ultrasounds, the appointments, learning about you guys and how you were growing. We were able to spend quite a bit of time getting to know you guys and what to expect. And thank you so much, our angels, for giving Daddy and I such precious time together as we created you. We got to spend a lot of extra time together driving to the appointments and the retrieval and we are so grateful for that.

I am so sad you guys aren’t here with us. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish you were here. Some days it hurts so bad to think about it and just to breathe hurts. The pain is so unbearable sometimes.

But, there are days I realize how lucky we are to have created you guys and how lucky we are to be parents to 4 precious angels. You guys have changed our lives so much. We have seen the goodness of so many people because of you guys. We met our donor egg angel, Stacey, 2 Megans who have been through donor egg/embryo cycles and your Daddy got to go down to Texas and spend time with your cousin Amy and her kids. And now we’ve gotten to witness the most precious, unselfish, miraculous gift Kami and Steve could ever give. We never would have experienced these experiences if you guys hadn’t been in our lives for such a short period of precious time. We have experienced miracles because of you guys, our miracle babies.

And there have been times where I know you guys have been there. Other people may think your mommy is looking too much into it and think I’ve lost my mind….and they may be right….but I know in my heart, you guys were there and had some part in it. Like when our friend paid for our bill at the restaurant for Mother’s Day and the time the baby bunny was under our angel tree. You guys had a part in that, didn’t you? Thank you for showing us you are here and that you are real.

To be honest, I thought this day would be harder than it was. Instead of focusing on what I’ve lost, I’ve been focusing on what I have and what precious gifts you guys have given your daddy and me. I can’t thank you guys enough for all you’ve shown and given to us.

I know you’re in heaven and there’s no greater place to be. I know it’s only a short time until your daddy, I and the 4 of you finally have our family reunion. I know when we get to heaven, you guys will be waiting for us at heaven’s gates and I can’t wait to hug you guys and hold you for eternity.

We love you guys and miss you guys so much. Until we meet in heaven, we’re always thinking of you guys and loving you so very much.

Love
Mommy and Daddy

The day we got the news

The letter I wrote to the babies

What I wrote to family and friends shortly after our cancelled transfer


Stimulation day 7


Stimulation day 10


Stimulation day 11


In memory of our 4 angels

We've been hurt..

I've been hurt lately by someone. I had thought about writing a protected post about it, but after a couple days, I've thought about it some more and I've decided to take this, turn it around and learn from it.

This person (we'll name her X) and I haven't seen eye to eye with infertility. We've both struggled but our journeys have taken us different ways. X and her husband turned to adoption while we, as you know, have gone a different direction. Although she has been very supportive and loving at times, Mark and I have always felt that because we haven't chosen adoption and X doesn't believe in IVF, we aren't as "good" as them and they don't make a secret about that.

Lately there have been some things done by X that have been very hurtful to us. Very hurtful. I don't want to go into detail as I don't feel details are necessary and I don't want to add fuel to the fire.

My feelings will be written in a couple posts as I have a lot on my mind. I don't feel I have to explain myself, but it sure helps to get things out in the open as it's awesome therapy.

First, I want to explain why adoption is not an option for us. I think adoption is wonderful. I wish it was more of an option for us so we could explore it more.

As you may know, in an adoption, you have to have a home study. In a home study, you have to have a physical to get medically cleared. Mark has a better chance of getting struck by lightning, holding a winning lottery ticket during a blizzard at the Magic Kingdom in Florida than passing a physical. It's just not going to happen.

We've been told I could adopt as a "single person" but we've also been told that my responsibilities with Mark will probably be an issue with that. Besides, I wouldn't want to do this on my own. I want Mark to be a part of it for sure.

We know that with a known adoption, it would be easier to pass and we are definitely open to that if God leads us in that direction, but as you may remember, God opened that door and shut it again.

Okay, let's say a miracle happens and Mark does get approved during the home study. For one thing, it's a long process obviously and if we chose a child from another country, just the flying alone and traveling would be way too hard on Mark. Then to have a baby in the US, it's a unbelievably long waiting list and with Mark's health issues, the longer the wait, the less of an option.

Okay, let's say we get a precious baby or 1-year-old in a couple years. Reality is (and I hate saying this), Mark will probably not live too long although we certainly hope that's not the case. But, let's say Mark passes away when our child is 4. That poor child has suffered not only the loss or abandonment or his/her birth parents, but now has just lost a father yet again. The poor child. Can you imagine what that would be like?

Now I know you can't go through life with all the "what if" situations. I do know that. But honestly and realistically, it is something I think about and I worry about the emotional well-being of our child.

The thing is, people don't realize how sick Mark really is until they see it and even then they don't know everything. People might think "oh, he has diabtes and heart issues. There are lots of people like that". The truth is, yes, there are, but Mark has had it for so many years and he is much more fragile because of it. I won't go into all the medical details. Let's just say we've been told many times by doctors that he's lucky to be alive and that he's like the Ener.gizer Bunny. He keeps going and going and going.....

My parents and sister have seen Mark in the hospital and in insulin reactions and they are probably the closest ones to understand. They've always been there for us and have always been one of our biggest supporters--thank you guys! Love you!

But the truth is, the insulin reactions they've seen have been pretty minor. Not that they aren't serious and scary, but they've seen Mark stubborn and not eating and acting strange. I've seen the worst reactions where he is seizuring, foaming at the mouth, nonresponsive, eyes staring at me and scared like he has no clue what's going on. I can tell you that if anyone saw those reactions, you would know why adoption is not an option for us and why Mark would never pass a physical. If a social worker witnessed that, our file would be closed faster than a flying Super.man.

So, you may be asking yourself, why on earth would we want to have a baby anyway? What are we thinking?

That would be another post. :)

Six silly things

I was tagged by Jess for six silly things....oh, boy, huh? :) You guys are in for it!

Thanks for tagging me Jess!

Ok, here are the rules to the game:

-Mention and link to the person who tagged you
-List Six Silly Things That Make You Happy
-Tag six of your favorite bloggers to play along

1. A good "artwork"(see honest scrap post below). Seriously. Every time I have a good one, Mark says I look so happy.
2. Shaking my booty with Peyton. There's nothing like dancing and teaching a 3-year-old to shake her booty.
3. A dream consisting of sex and the big "O". Yes, you read that right. Tammy actually wrote that out loud.
4. Severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. I don't know why, but the fact that a storm that could kill us excites me very much...maybe I have a death wish?
5. Seeing that one of my favorite movies when I was a kid is on TV that I haven't seen in forever...it's a great feeling. :)
6. My husband. He's about the silliest, goofiest person you'd ever meet, but he makes me so dang happy, it's unbelievable.

Okay, and I'm cheating again. :( I don't know who to tag, so if you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged. :)

Honest Scrap Award

I was recently tagged by LM. THank you sweetie!

Here are the rules:

1. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find interesting and engaging

2. Show the 7 winners names and links on your blog and leave a comment informing them that they have won the "Honest Scrap Award"

3. List at least 10 honest things about yourself


Okay, I don't know who to tag...so if you want to do it, leave me a comment and I'll tag ya...how does that sound? :)

Here are the 10 honest things about me:

1. I still watch "Save.d By The B.ell" and "Ful.l Hou.se" and those types of shows...I'm such a geek.

2. When I was in college in Speech class, my classmate gave a speech about how your poop is artwork. I made the mistake of telling Mark that and now whenever he has to go to the bathroom, he says he has to go do some artwork...try explaining that to a 3-year-old. :)

3. Mark has tons of scars on his body from all his surgeries. He has 2 scars above his belly button and with his tiny belly, it looks like he has a smiley face on his tummy. Oh my gosh, he'd kill me if he knew I told you guys that. :)

4. I taught Tyler to moon people.

5. Eddie always whines at 3 in the morning...not to go outside, not to eat...he just gets lonely and wants me up. Sounds sweet, but at 3 in the morning, he's lucky to be alive.

6. I sometimes worry that I'm not a mother because I would be a horrible one

7. I've told someone I have another call when I don't just to get off the phone with them...and I don't have call waiting.

8. I'm terrified of snakes. Let me see a mouse or a spider or anything but a snake.

9. I used to love when Mark went into the hospital because then I would actually get some sleep. This was when Mark was really sick.

10. I hate it when people say "you can have my kids"...hate it. Do people really think that's funny?? I mean, really??? That bugs me almost as much as "have you ever thought of adoption?"...like no way! I've been dealing with infertility for 6 years now and you JUST told me about this NOW???? Okay, yeah, I know people are just trying to be nice and don't mean anything by it but this is my "honest scrap" award, so just being honest. :)

Still here...

I feel so bad that I've gotten so far behind on my blogs. :( I'm so sorry guys. I promise to catch up.

I found out that my stomach is out of place (believe it or not, it's possible), my neck is really out of place, I have TMJ dysfunction and I have some kind of flu bug and a possible parotid gland infection. Sounds fun, huh? :( At night I feel better, but the computer gets me really sick so it makes it hard to work....sound familiar, Kami? :) We really are in this together. :)

I've been working, but having to use my breaks to sleep and settle my stomach. That's how I can get through the day. Otherwise, I can't eat or work without getting sick and throwing up.

I'm still thinking it's sympathy sickness for Kami. :)

Mark has been so good to me, though. He cleaned up the bathroom and the toilet so I would have something freshly clean to puke in. :) Ain't he sweet?

I have so many things to blog about. I've been tagged twice and I promise to get to that. :) I have a family member who has really hurt me which I want to blog about and write out some of my feelings (I won't be attacking or using names, just blogging...it's good therapy). I want to acknowledge July 6 as that was my IVF due date. :( And I want to look back at our journey as this month marks 6 years Mark and I have been trying to have a baby...bittersweet. :(

So, I'll be blogging a lot....you'll get so sick of me. :) And this weekend, I'm hoping to be feeling better and getting caught up on all you guys.

Lots of love and hugs

Still not feeling up to par

Still having sympathy sickness. :( And yes, Kami, I'll take all of it or I'll try. :) Love you girl!!

I'm going to get a chiropractic adjustment today and hopefully that will help, but I was in bed from 4 on last night and only up for about half an hour. Ugh!

Thank you all so much for your comments and wishes. :) I appreciate them!

I have so many blogs to catch up on and I promise I will when I'm feeling better. I always feel so horrible when I get behind. :( I do think of you guys!

I had a very emotional morning this morning as I had a very realistic dream last night that I was 9 months pregnant, going into labor, was in pain, uncomfortable but was excited to see my baby. You guys, it was so realistic and I've been so emotional all morning because of it. Being sick doesn't help as I'm always more emotional when I'm sick, but that dream was really hard.

I think my upcoming due date is harder on me than I thought.

I promise I'll be catching up on the blogs soon! Love you all!