I have a confession

I have a confession.

I have no time right now to blog or check blogs.

And although overwhelmed, love every minute of it...for the most part. :)

Our yard/bake sale starts a week from today and I’m so busy getting ready for that. We actually had to buy a canopy to put more stuff in as we are running out of room in our garage because we have so many donations. It’s amazing!! We are so blessed.

I’ve been putting up flyers, making signs, pricing stuff, organizing, etc. and it’s been taking up a lot of my time.

Then we got the okay last Friday to start applying to agencies!! Yay!! It’s a good thing but lots and lots of paperwork and pretty overwhelming.

So, when I’m not working on sale stuff, I’m so busy working on the applications and doing paperwork.

I’m also working about 15 hours a week of overtime and 2 nights a week I’m coaching gymnastics to try to earn more money for our peanut fund.

I think God’s preparing me for motherhood. :) I just have no time for anything right now.

But it’ll all be worth it...every second of it!!

So for the next week or 2, I apologize but I’m just not going to have time to check blogs or blogs.

Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers! If you would like to contact me for any reason at all, prayers, support, big news or anything, please email me at tammywondra @ yahoo dot com and I will get back to you! I just can’t promise I’ll be checking blogs and I’m SOOOO SORRY!!! I want to know any big news or pray for you if you need prayers!!

I will be updating our FB page and my status when I can, too.

Thanks for understanding! I promise to update you guys on our sale with LOTS of pictures!!

I just can't get enough of this sweet boy....

Bemnet turns 10!

I can't believe Bemnet is already 10! It seems like it was just yesterday she came home.

Here are some pictures from her party!


The grandpas playing water balloon toss


Grandpa Bruce in one of the games


Tyler playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey


Danielle, Peyton and Grandpa in the bouncy house....the adults were in there just as much as the kids :)


The birthday girl with her cake


Opening up presents


The sweet birthday girl

Sam turns 3!

These pictures are long overdue. :(

About a month ago, Sam turned 3...yes 3. It's so hard to believe!

Here are a few pictures of his birthday party:


My mom and dad with Sam and his new drum set. He LOVES drums! :)


Sam and his drums


Me, Sam and Mark


the birthday boy


Mark and Sam with his new bike


Sam and his birthday cupcakes


The family put on a skit before the party...very cute!

Meeting a friend

One of the MANY things I love about blogging is being able to form wonderful friendships and meeting wonderful people.

I've been so fortunate to have met 4 blogger friends and last weekend, I was able to meet a fifth blogger friend, Leah, her husband and their wonderful children.

We had planned to meet back in April 2010, but then our FET was scheduled at the same time so we were on our way to Michigan instead. I was disappointed as I was also going to meet Chelle.

Some day I WILL meet you Chelle. :)

It was truly a blessing to meet Leah, her husband and 2 children. Those children are soooo beautiful! They are the nicest people and so thoughtful. They gave us some donations for our sale and I know that wasn't the easiest for Leah to let go of....it's so sad kids grow up, isn't it? :(

Of course I have to share some pictures. Thank you Leah and family for the wonderful visit! I hope to see you guys soon!


The wonderful family


Me and K


Me and S...who just turned 1! Happy birthday sweetie!!


Leah and the beautiful kids


Me and Leah

The feeling of failure

I’ve always prided myself on being honest on my blog. Sometimes it’s come to haunt me but for the most part, I believe it’s helped others and helped myself to get my feelings out.

Since we’ve gone full blown into our domestic infant adoption journey, it’s been a flood of emotions. It’s been exciting, overwhelming, scary, anxious, etc. I can honestly say that I’m excited that we have a great opportunity of finally being parents and it brings tears to my eyes. Oh, I’m so excited and anxious for that day. One thing I’ve realized that I can be a mother, even if it means not carrying. There is a special baby out there for each parent that God chooses.

However, at the same time, the word “adoption” comes to my mind as “failure” sometimes.

Before I get a bunch of hate mail, I’ll explain.

For years and years, I wanted to carry so bad. So much that we tried extra, extra hard to make my dream a reality. And now that we are looking into adoption, I feel like I “failed” at trying to carry.

I’m a failure.

It seems so easy to some people and I don’t get why it's so hard for me. And I had 2 “perfect”, proven set of embryos that other couples had twins with and I couldn’t even have one live baby.

I’m a failure.

I often think what is wrong with me. Why can’t I carry? Why am I so defective? Why do I kill babies?

I know the answer is simple: It’s just not in God’s plan, at least right now.

Some days I have no problem accepting that. Other days, not so much.

I’ve always been the type of person that can succeed, even through hardships. When I was in high school, I had a bad back injury. It slowed my career down, but I was still able to make it to state and place 2 years. In college, I had a hard time trying to figure out what I wanted to do. I went to one college, decided it wasn’t for me and took a year and a half off, but then went to another college and finally got my Bachelor’s degree and I was so proud of myself. Then, with Mark’s transplant, we had setback after setback and yet we were determined to get that kidney transplant which we did and Mark’s doing amazing.

I’ve always succeeded, even if it was a long road. And yet, I wanted to carry my baby and I wasn’t able to.

Some days, I tell myself that yes, in fact, I DID carry my baby. Yes, I was pregnant and I have the stick and betas to prove it! I just didn’t carry as long as I thought I would. But, God did allow me to carry and I’m soooo grateful for that.

And I know that pregnancy doesn’t make someone a mother. A baby makes someone a mother. Adoption is just another way of making that possible.

And the thing that gives me comfort is that one day, I will hold my baby with tears in my eyes, knowing that baby is mine and that every IUI, IVF, FET, shot, test, dollar spent, heartache, etc. brought me to that moment. I can whisper “I love you my sweet baby” and look into my baby’s eyes and know we were meant to be together. And everything will be worth it.

That’s when I’ll know I’m not a failure, I’m a mother.

Playing cards with Peyton

Last night Mark and I were playing Go Fish with Peyton.

I asked Peyton if she had a queen.

"Nope, no queen, only a king. Go fish!"

Our adoption fundraising letter

This is the letter we sent out to our family and friends. I also wanted to post it here. It has some good adoption fundraising ideas so I thought it might give others ideas, too. You guys are welcome to check them out too! Thank you so much!

Here it is:


As you know, Mark and I have struggled with infertility for years. To give you a little history, we tried 12 IUIs (intrauterine inseminations), all negative, and then IVF (in vitro fertilization) where we found out I have a possible genetic disorder. After finding out I will most likely never have a genetic child, we turned to adopted embryos. We adopted 3 precious embryos from a blogger friend in April 2010 and underwent a FET (frozen embryo transfer). We found out on my birthday that the transfer did not work. We then adopted anonymous embryos from a list at our clinic and underwent a FET (frozen embryo transfer) in April 2011. We were so overjoyed when we found out on my birthday that I was pregnant! However, the joy was short-lived as we found out 2 days later that I was miscarrying our babies. It has always been my dream to carry my baby and we praise God so much that He gave me that opportunity.

God has turned our hearts toward adoption. We are pleased to announce that we have been approved! Our next steps will be to build our profile and pray for a match. We are close to having our baby home, but we still have a lot of work to do.

Mark and I are working very hard to raise the funds.Adoption can cost up to $30,000 and possibly more. I've been putting in about 15 hours a week of overtime plus coaching gymnastics 2 nights a week. Mark is working on building toys he can sell.

Many people have asked how they can help and we are so grateful. It means so much to us that people care so much. We are asking for prayers as our primary method of support.

This is a tough journey. We are able to continue mainly because we receive so much love and kindness. However, at the encouragement of our adoption agency and the request of our loved ones, we've thought of a few ways to provide opportunities for those who wish to offer financial support as well.

Wondra Adoption Event: The weekend of July 28-31 we will hold a huge bake and yard sale at our home to coincide with the Polk County Fair. My family will collect all of the baked goods, sweets, and gently used items you wish to donate to our sale. We would love to borrow tables and canopies. Bring the family and join us as inventory managers, volunteers, and shoppers. We anticipate a large turnout! After the sale, anything left over will be donated to a couple struggling with infertilty for a sale.

Baby Bottle Bonanza: Fill a baby bottle with your spare change! We'll give you a baby bottle, then collect it when it's full. Super easy!

Just Love Coffee: Purchase a bag of coffee online from this adoption supportive website and $5 will be donated to our Peanut Fund. Here is the link: Coffee

Scentsy: Our friend, Jamie, is donating proceeds from her online Scentsy Store for the month of July. Please check it out! Scentsy

We Can Do It! We'd love to collect your aluminum beverage cans for recycling as they become available and we will pick up. Thank you!

Parents Night Out: For your donation to our Peanut Fund, Mark and I will entertain your kids so you can have a night out! Please arrange this with us in advance.

Found in Translation: Need documents translated from English to Spanish or vice versa? A friend will do this and donate the proceeds. Contact me for more information.

Precious Puzzle Pieces: We have a Precious Moments puzzle that we will be putting together and hanging up in the baby's room. Sponsor a piece of our Precious Moments puzzle for a buck! Write a message on the back for our adopted baby.

Good Wishes: If you would like to just make a donation, you can do so at our Wondra Peanut Fund Good Wishes website: Good Wishes Simply click on a box and follow the directions. You can also write a message for our baby.


Again, we thank you so much for all your support, whether it be financial, emotional or prayer support. It indeed takes a village to raise a child. Thank you for being part of our village! Your offers of love, prayer, compassion, and worldly goods mean more to us than words can convey. Please share your ideas on getting our Peanut home. We've created a Facebook page called "Wondra Peanut Fundraiser". Follow us there for updates, ideas, and more opportunities to support us as we follow God's path to building our family, however long it takes.

We love you all!


Mark and Tammy

I get the worst blogger award

I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone without blogging.

I can honestly say that it’s for a good cause. :) I do feel horrible that I’m not able to catch up on other people’s blogs as much as I would like but I try real hard.

I’ve been so busy with adoption stuff, getting our contracts and profile information done for CAC and trying to send out letters to friends and family for our sale coming up the end of this month. Plus, I’ve been working about 15 hours of overtime a week over my 40 and coaching gymnastics 2 nights a week.

It doesn’t leave much time for anything else. :(

The good news is that we finally have our profile information, pictures and contracts done for CAC and in the mail! This is a HUGE step in bringing home our peanut! We figured out our finances and we were able to go ahead with it! We thought we would have to wait until after the sale but because of all the OT I’ve been putting in and the fact that the credit card payment won’t be due until the beginning of August, we’ll have the funds to pay the CAC fees.

Can I get a WOOHOO? :)

What this means is that once they get the paperwork finished, CAC will start working on our profile and Mark and I can immediately start applying to agencies. The profile will only take a couple weeks to finish.

Things are moving so fast it seems!

I’ll get better! Things are just really busy right now. It seems that I’m either working, coaching, filling out paperwork, collecting items from people or working in the garage getting ready for the sale. We have been so blessed with how much support we’ve gotten. It’s an amazing feeling.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!