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Little did I know

This is a post that has been swimming in my head for quite some time. Most people know the story but when you put it in writing, you truly see God’s work behind it all.

In April 2011, I underwent my second frozen embryo transfer in 2 years. Both in April 2010 and 2011, my beta draw (pregnancy test) was scheduled for on my birthday, April 18, with no planning of myself. It just happened that way.

In 2010, it was devastating birthday news. In 2011, however, I got the most joyful birthday present ever, a positive pregnancy test.

Little did I know, that positive pregnancy test was God’s way of telling me that yes we were going to have a baby, just not in the way we were planning.

On April 20, 2011, two days after my positive pregnancy test, we got the most devastating news I ever thought I could get. We had lost our babies. I was miscarrying. My dream of carrying was over.

Little did I know, our little baby girl was the size of a poppy seed, already growing.

For weeks, I was so depressed, some days just barely getting out of bed. I didn’t know how I was going to keep going. How was I going to be able to function? Some days I just wanted to crawl into a hole and not face the day.

Little did I know, our baby was already growing her nose and eyelids. A nose and eyelids that I would be nuzzling by the end of the year.

In June, I remember thinking I would be 2 months pregnant. I had researched online and, yes tortured myself, to find out that my baby would’ve been the size of a kidney bean and instead I had no baby.

Little did I know, our baby really was the size of a kidney bean, just being carried in another woman’s body.

In August, we signed up with Christian Adoption Consultants with mixed emotions. We were anxious to get moving on the adoption process but I still carried that sadness in me that I would never get to carry my baby and would remember that I would have been 4 months pregnant and entering into the second trimester.

Little did I know, our little girl was the size of a peach and indeed was entering the second trimester, wiggling her little toes that I would get to touch at the end of the year.

Between September and October, we submitted our profile to numerous different situations, all with negative responses. I found myself asking what was wrong with us? Why weren’t we being chosen? Why was it taking so long?

Little did I know, the reason was a little girl who was now the size of a basketball and her birthmom was just calling the adoption agency to get in their program.

In October, there was a new situation, “L”. The birthmother was Asian and the birthfather was Caucasian. Total agency fees were listed as $38,000 plus medical bills. As part of our application, we needed to submit a “budget” which showed the most we were able to afford. Ours was set at $40,000. I questioned the amount the medical bills would be and we were told they would be about $7000-8000. I emailed back with a heavy heart stating we were unable to submit our profile at this time. They emailed back to double check and I confirmed that we were unable to submit it.

Little did I know, God had decided we were going to submit it.

On November 10, 2011 at approximately 6 p.m. I received an email stating “L had chosen us” and had given us the contact information for the agency. After several phone calls and emails, it was confirmed that our profile had been submitted in error and that we indeed had been chosen.

Little did I know, our birthmom had already fallen in love with us and was excitedly showing everyone our profile as her baby’s parents.

After accepting the situation and starting to make plans, we realized that with travel, this would set us about $10,000 over our allowed budget. We needed to come up with $10,000 in a month and a half and we had already completely drained our savings. We had no idea how we were going to do that and didn’t think it was possible.

Little did I know, it was possible and God knew it would all work out.

Between a benefit and many family and friends, we raised about $9000 and we were able to stay at a friend’s house in Utah, thereby saving more money.

On December 20, 2011, Hannah Dawn Wondra was born at 4:41 p.m. in a hospital states away. Our daughter. A miracle daughter. A daughter that God told me we were going to have by a little positive pregnancy test on April 18, 2011.

And I know that back then when I would reminisce about how I “could’ve been so and so months pregnant”, I really was...just in another woman’s body.

Hannah's first illness

My poor Hannah Banana has been sick.

About a week ago she started not eating very much at all. She just didn’t seem interested in eating. I brought it up at her 9-month check and we just figured she was being picky and at that age where she was starting to get an attitude about what she was going to eat and not.

Then Friday night, she slept great! I only had to wake up twice for her between 9 p.m. and 5 a.m. It was wonderful! I had to work on Saturday and I actually had energy and got some cleaning done after work.

Then Saturday night, it was the same thing. She slept really good again.
But then Sunday she was starting to be kind of clingy and a little fussy and still not eating very well. That night she didn’t sleep very well and needed her mommy to hold her to sleep.

The next morning when I got her up, I felt her and she seemed a little warm to me. I had Mark check her and he said she seemed fine. About half an hour later when I was changing her, I really felt like she felt warm and again, Mark said she felt fine and said, “You must be feeling something I’m not!”.

Of course, you don’t want to try to prove me wrong!

So I took her temperature and it was 100.8. Mommy’s instinct was right and Daddy felt terrible.

Luckily I had that day off work for working the weekend so we gave her plenty of medications to help her feel better, had snuggle time and she seemed to do okay.
That night though was horrible. She wouldn’t sleep unless she was in my arms and then at 1:00 a.m. her fever was 102.9. Of course being a first-time mom I was terrified. But I gave her some ibuprofen which helped her sleep and she got lots more snuggle time.

The next day we took her into the doctor and they ruled out all the bad stuff like ear infection, pneumonia, strep. We were told that she probably just had a bad virus.

So we’ve been keeping up with the ibuprofen and alternating with Tylenol which seems to be helping. Today her fever is gone but her voice is almost completely gone. It doesn’t seem to bother her as she still tries to shriek and talk so much but you can tell her voice is very hoarse.

This was Hannah’s first real bad illness. It’s been several days of sleeping with her in a rocking chair or on the couch. I’m cherishing that time with her as I know it won’t last forever. I hope she feels better soon but I have to admit I’m really going to miss that snuggle time.

Introducing my world...

9 months old today!

I’m already 9 months! Can you believe it? I recently went in to see my doctor for my check and he said I’m doing very well and my mommy and daddy are doing a great job. I’m already up to 16 pounds 9 ounces. I got my first flu shot and I didn’t even flinch or cry. I’m going to have to try to train Daddy because he says his shots hurt and his needles aren’t nearly as big as the needle I had put into me. Silly Daddy.

I’ve been learning a lot! I recently learned to crawl and now I’m going all over the place. Did you know how much stuff I can get into? I don’t think Mommy and Daddy knew until I started crawling but I can get into a lot of things. There’s a lot of stuff down in my world! I keep Mommy and Daddy very busy now. It’s a lot of fun!

I also got 3 more teeth in so I’m up to 5 teeth now! When those things were cutting through, I also had a virus so I admit, I was kind of a crabby little girl but I think I had an excuse. You try cutting teeth when you’re sick! I tried to give Mommy and Daddy my best smiles so they wouldn’t get too mad at me when I was crabby and I hope it worked [edited by Mommy: yes it did!]

About a month ago we went down to Chicago to see my uncle Aaron. It was quite the long drive and I got a little crabby about it after awhile but my mommy said I did really good for it being such a long drive and me being such a little girl. Uncle Aaron took us to a zoo where I got to see my first live zebra! I love zebras! It was good to see Uncle Aaron.

I’m getting ready for my first Halloween! My mommy has already decided what I’m going to be. My grandma’s going to make a banana costume. Get it…Hannah Banana? Yeah, real cute Mommy.

I’ve been more of a picky eater lately. I’ve even learned to shake my head no when I’ve had enough. Mommy and Daddy think it’s cute but really it’s just common sense. I don’t like chicken with herbs at all and make funny faces and gag on it when they try to give it to me. Mommy even videotaped it one time and showed it to everyone. Not funny Mommy.

I can say “mama”, “dada” and “baba” which means bottle. I’m working on other words, too, but just not quite there yet. I like to babble and talk and love when people talk back to me. Mommy and Daddy also taught me to “shake my booty” which is a lot of fun to do. I love to smile, give kisses, make goofy faces and have people smile, make faces and love up on me back. I feel so loved.

And my sleeping habits? Well, we just don’t talk about that. What can I say, I’m a night owl and I love spending time with Mommy. We do our best bonding at night and I don’t want to give that up and neither does my mommy—I think or I hope. Daddy even sometimes joins in on our bonding which is a lot of fun for me.

I recently won a Cutest Baby Contest for my mommy’s work! There were 22 babies and I was voted the cutest! I get to the poster baby for my mommy’s work’s Mom and Baby Expo which is at the end of the month. I have to admit I’m recognized everywhere I go and I’m been told I’m what they call a celebrity. I guess that’s an important person because so many people smile and love up on me when they call me that. I guess it’s official—I am pretty cute.

As you can see, a lot is going on in my world. You’d think it would make me more tired and I would sleep more but really it doesn’t. I just love my mommy and daddy so much and want to spend every chance I get with them and I know they feel the same. I’m a lucky girl.

I better get off this computer and go get into stuff. I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Much love and hugs,

Hannah

Tyler and Peyton's first day of school 2012

Tyler just started 4th grade and Peyton just started 1st grade.

Soak. that. in.

Weren't they JUST born?

Man, time just flies!


Here is the group ready to send them off to school! Their mom and dad were on vacation and had originally thought school started a different day. They felt terrible they had to miss it. Apparently Tyler wasn't too happy about it but then was okay when his mom promised she'd bring home taffy for him.


Peyton holding up a 1 for first grade and Tyler holding up a 4 for fourth grade


The stay-at-home kids and their fabulous "teachers". :)


Tyler and Peyton getting on the bus

It's so hard to believe they are getting so big! And I know it won't be long before we're putting our Hannah Banana on the bus to go to school. :(

This is our house.....

when Dora is on.

Hannah going swimmming

Mark and I recently took our little girl out swimming. She had been in the lake before at her cousin's birthday party but never been in a swimming suit and actually "in" the water. So we were excited when we had a night free and took a drive to the park to let Hannah go swimming for her first official time! Yay!

She hated it. :(

I think it was because the water was a bit chilly, although not too bad. She's just used to nice, warm bath water. So, it was a little chilly for her. We just have to get her used to it and then I know she won't want to come out. :)



Here she is in the water


Daddy even got into it, too. :)

Here are a couple pictures of Hannah and mommy after she was out of the water. Can you tell I'm completely in love with this girl? :)

Hannah's first zebra!!

Hannah has always loved zebras. It must be the black and white because she can just sit and stare at a zebra for a long time.

So when we went to visit my brother and he suggested the zoo, we had to go in search of a zebra.

And of course we found one. What's a zoo without a zebra?


Here Daddy is pointing out the zebra. She loved looking at it! It was so cute.


Family photo by the zebra


Mommy and Hannah

Cars!

Anyone who knows Mark knows he loves cars. :) So, when we recently went to visit my brother in Chicago and there was a car show going on, of course we had to go!

And this was Hannah's first car show.

Mark loved showing her all the cars.



My favorite car is a bug. I love Volkswagons and collect them so I get excited when I find one at car shows.:) I definitely wanted a picture of me and Hannah with a bug but Mark managed to sneak in there, too.



Not being too happy that he snuck in on my photo, I made him get away at the next bug we saw. But he still managed to get into the picture as you can see (back right)


He is such a geek.

Here is another family photo by one of the cars. I couldn't figure out why Mark was so far away from us when we took this picture. He said he couldn't take away from the engine and he had to point out the "best part" in the picture.


What is it with men and cars??? :)

Goofy girl

Trip to Fa.wn-Doe-Ro.sa

I am so far behind on blogging which makes me sad. :( I seem to have no time for anything anymore but I guess that's mommyhood for you. :)

About a month ago, we took Hannah to a nearby park that has animals you can pet. I hadn't been there in years and our whole family decided to go. I was pretty excited! I couldn't wait to take pictures of Hannah seeing her first animals.

We put her in her stroller and walked into the park. The first animal we saw was a goat:


Pretty precious, huh?

The goat was coming by Hannah. Just as I was about to take a picture of Hannah meeting her first goat, the goat jumped on her. Yes, actually jumped on her. She was just fine, wasn't hurt but obviously was really scared.

I got the moment the goat jumped on poor Hannah but got a picture of the ground as my mommy instinct took over and I grabbed Hannah as fast as I could:



After her goat incident, she had a really hard time getting close to any goats. :( Poor girl.

But we still had fun. :)

Here she is with Daddy.



Here she is petting a bunny with Peyton


Here she is with Mommy and Daddy


Here she is with her first deer

Hannah's 9-month pics

Her onesie says it all

I'm so excited that Hannah finally gets to wear this!

About 4 years ago we got this from Nick & Michelle, good friends of ours. They had gotten it when their miracle baby, Kayla, came into their lives. They had graciously given it to us to put on our precious miracle.

I put it in a special spot in my closet. I saw it every time I went in there. Some days I thought we'd never get our miracle to put that onesie on. Other days it gave me hope that one day we would get our miracle & it would be "worth the wait".

And the day came. :).

Thank you Nick & Michelle for not only the most perfect onesie but for giving me the hope that one day we'd have the perfect miracle to put it on.

Thank you!! And Cutest Baby Contest :)

I want to thank you all soooo much for your encouragement with my last post. I needed that. It was so wonderful to hear that I'm not the only one who has a disaster for a house or isn't able to keep up, etc. It really helped me. I've gotten a few emails that really touched me and I still need to respond but I wanted to tell you just how much they've meant to me.

I haven't gotten a chance to be on here much. Poor Hannah has been sick for the last week with a viral infection. I finally took her in on Monday and the lab work showed it. She has also been teething so she's been miserable. I see today she did cut her tooth in so hopefully good days are ahead and more sleep for this tired momma. :)

For those who I'm not friends with on FB, Hannah is in a Cutest Baby Contest! It's through my work and the winner gets to be the poster baby for the baby expo they are having at the end of the month. That would be soooo awesome to see her on that!

So, if you're on FB, could you vote for her please? I know she would really appreciate it and so would her mommy. :)

All you have to do is click "like" on the picture and you've voted. :) Super easy!

Here is the link:

Hannah's picture


Any votes help so thank you!! Again, just click "like" on this picture and that's it. :)

THANK YOU!!