I'm 13 months!

When I was here the other day, I noticed Mama hadn't posted my 13-month picture yet. I know she's busy and claims she's "tired" (really? She's 30 something years old, has had years to sleep and claims she's tired?), so I thought I'd take care of this one for her.

On January 20, I turned 13 months old. Can you believe it?


Here I am at 13 months


Peyton helped take my pictures and we had matching outfits. How cool is that?

I wanted to share some of the great things I'm up to now.

1. I wave "bye-bye" a lot. Usually if Mama or Dada want me to wave to someone I wait until their back is turned and then wave. I've actually been waving for quite awhile. That was one of the first things I learned.

2. I give hugs and kisses. I sometimes will give kisses by opening my mouth up wide and sometimes will actually pucker up my lips up and give a kiss that way. Mama loves it when I pucker up my lips. I don't do it all the time. I have to be in the mood which I can tell Mama doesn't like. But, really, think about it...do you always want to give everyone kisses? Ah, no. I think it's justified.

3. I turn lights off. I need help to get up to the switch but Mama and Dada always let me turn off the lights when they need to be turned off. I love being able to help out around here.

4. I love playing with the dishwasher and love emptying out the dishwasher with Mama. My job is to hand her the silverware and she puts them away. I give them to her one at a time as it's hard for my little hands to grab more than that. I don't know if I'm too much help as Mama has to make lots of trips to the silverware drawer then instead of just one but she doesn't seem to mind.

5. I love to clap. I see anyone clapping and I'm clapping too.

6. I love to dance. Turn on any music and I'm dancing. I love to shake my little booty too...and I'm good at it.

7. I say "hi" on the phone. I don't do it all the time but sometimes. I know Mama would like me to say it all the time so I don't make her look like a liar when she says I can and I don't actually do it, but again, refer to my reasoning in #2.

8. I love to play Peek-a-boo and "Where's Hannah?". I put my hands over my face and wait for someone to ask "Where's Hannah?" before taking my hands down. Okay, the truth? Sometimes I just need a break from looking at my silly parents.

9. I've started to point to things I need. I'm still not quite able to say what I need...I try....but the words just aren't there quite yet. But that pointing thing seems to really work out well.

10. I'm almost walking! I'm getting very, very close. I once walked a short distance holding onto one finger. I have to admit, it's a little scary. I'm slowly getting used to it which I think makes Mama happy because she knows when I do start walking, I won't be walking, I'll be running! There will be no stopping me then!

I think that about covers it. I hope you're all doing well! If you're ever in the area, stop by and see me! I love seeing people! I'll even give you a hug and a kiss and say hi...well, if I'm in the mood.

Mama's needing to use the computer so I should sign out.

I love you all!!

Hannah Banana

The rest of our Disney trip

The rest of our trip turned out to be much different than we had planned.

The next day after Sea World, the plan was to all kind of split up. Some were going shopping, some to the beach and others to the Kenn.edy Sp.ace Ce.nter. Our original plan was to go with to the Spac.e Cent.er but Mark was pretty exhausted so he just wanted to stay back. So, I thought we would just stay back with him.

Hannah was great in the morning. It was strange, though, as she seemed much more tired than usual...go figure...Hannah, tired?? :) Anyway, she would be up for an hour, then take a nap for an hour, up for an hour and another nap for an hour. This went on all through all the morning and most of the afternoon. I just thought she was wore out.

In the afternoon she seemed a little warm to me so I took her temperature....101. The poor thing. But really other than acting more tired and not eating the best she seemed to be pretty good.

That night after she had had some ibuprofen, her fever was pretty much gone and she seemed better, so we all went to Old Town nearby where they have the best ice cream ever and had a big car show. Two big pluses. :)


Here we are in front of a car.

By the end, though, Hannah was feeling more warm and I was getting nervous she was getting sick again. We got into the car and she started crying and almost immediately started throwing up. :(

We got home and I immediately got her a bottle and went to lay her down. She never stopped crying and screaming. I took her temp again and it was 103. And yes, at this time I was feeling like the worst mom in the world for bringing her out.

After a couple hours of her screaming and inconsolable, I called her pediatriacian at home. We have an amazing relationship with him and I felt very comfortable doing this and he was happy to help. After explaining the symptoms, he was positive she had influenza and called in a prescription at a local pharmacy for Tamiflu.

It was a rough night for my little girl.

Then next day was spent running around trying to get the Tamiflu (they had a shortage down there big time) and doing a little shopping but most of all just hanging out with a sick girl. :(

We flew back home the next day and she was actually feeling better. Probably because she had gotten the flu shot so influenza didn't hit her as hard. But at that point we were happy to get her home and be closer to our pediatrician and our clinic.

All in all, a very fun vacation and it was hard to leave, even with Hannah sick. Many fun memories were made. :) We can't wait to go back!!

From Hannah's perspective

Hi everyone!

This is Hannah! I know Mama usually writes in this blog but I thought I'd hijack it for a post to give my side of my nighttime wakenings. I know Mama has claimed it's been a rough week with me waking up so much so I thought it was only fair I give MY side of the story.

Here is what goes on in my head:

6:30 p.m.: “Mama! No, I don’t wanna sleep…you can’t make me…..no, really you can’t Mama!....I’m just gonna keep screaming and I’m not gonna sleep!”

7 p.m.: “Okay, Mama, I’ll sleep….I love you!”

8 p.m.: “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, I’m scared… it’s dark and quiet….oh, you’re here, Mama….things are better…..just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

9 p.m. : “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, guess what! I let out some gas….no, you don’t have to change me, it was just gas….I just wanted to tell you….oh, I have to sleep? Okay, Mama… just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

10 p.m.: “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, guess what! I peed in my diaper! Not a lot, just a little, so no need to change me … just wanted to tell ya….oh, I have to sleep? Okay, Mama… just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

11 p.m. : “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, there’s this thing above my head with animals and stuff and it moves…..oh, it’s a mobile?.....oh, I like it Mama!… oh, I have to sleep? Okay, Mama …..just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

12 a.m.: “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, there’s this black and white thingy next to my head. Do you know what that is?....oh, it’s a zebra?....oh, it’s so nice to snuggle….. oh, I have to sleep? Okay, Mama… just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

1 a.m.: “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, I’m hungry….not just hungry, but starving and I’ll let you know by screaming my head off and throwing my water ba-ba on the floor….oh, you’ll give me something?....you’re the best Mama….just rock me and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

3 a.m.: “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, I gave you 2 hours of sleep! Isn’t that great?....oh, you need more? But we can play! I’m ready to party!.....No? I have to sleep? Okay, Mama… just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

4 a.m. : “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, can we talk? I’m really bored and just wanna talk! ……but I really just wanna talk and my animals won’t talk back to me…..no, I have to sleep? Okay, Mama… just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

5 a.m. : “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Mama, there’s this big red, yellow type light outside my window. What is that?.....oh, that’s the sun?...that must mean it’s morning and I can wake up!...… no, I have to sleep? Okay, Mama… just rock me and give me a swig of my ba-ba and I’ll go to sleep. I love you!”

6 a.m.: “Mama, where are you?.....oh, there you are, Mama…..Ok, Mama, this time, I insist, it’s party time!.....Oh, yes it is! I’m going to dance here in my crib until you finally take me out….No really, Mama! I’m the boss this time!.....Yep, I sure am!.....Aw, thanks Mama! I knew you’d get me out of here! Now it’s time to play! …..but you know what, Mama? I love you!”


Mama's side note: Those are some exhausting hours for Mama, but I'll take all the “I love you”’s any day. :) I love you sweet Hannah Banana!

Trip to Disney Day 5

Today was Sea World day!!

I was so excited. I had been waiting to go to Sea World for a long time. I had actually wanted to go when we went 4 years ago but it didn't work out. So I was excited when the family decided we were going to go this year. :)

Before we left we took some family photos:


This is my whole family. I think for having as many kids as we did, this was a good picture. The only face you couldn't see was Hannah's....and Mark's trying so hard to get her to look at the camera. :)


We can't take a family picture without a goofy one :)

For Christmas, my brother's family gave all the kids matching outfits to wear down in Florida. Unfortunately we got the gift at a later time and we didn't get the memo to bring the clothes and that they were all matching. :( So we didn't get Hannah in the matching outifts but they are all still so cute. :) :)


Here are the girls


All the kids


Here are the boys

Then it was time to head out to Sea World!

I have to brag. There is a high rollercolaster there called the Krackin (sp?). I had been warned before we left that it was a bad one and that I would get sick. Do you know how many times I went on it? 3. Yes, 3. :) I honestly didn't think it was that bad.

Anyway, we had a blast at Sea World. Definitely my favorite. And Hannah had so much fun. She LOVED seeing the animals.


Here she is with the flamingoes


Here we are waiting for the Shamu show. Our family decided to sit in the "soak zone". I knew right away this was NOT a good idea for Hannah but we decided to stay with the family. Not too long after the show started of course we got soaked and Hannah screamed. I moved up a few rows after that but Hannah still wasn't so sure about it. Can't say I blame her. :)


Here we are at the dolphin show. This one we sat way up at the top with Daddy and his wheelchair. Hannah LOVED it! She was clapping and clapping and just loving those dolphins!


Here she is clapping. It was sooo cute!

I have to say this was definitely my favorite part of the trip. It was fun for me and even more fun to see Hannah having so much fun. :)

Trip to Disney Day 4

After being at Magic Kingdom for the day, we needed a "rest" day for sure. :)

Our time share had a water park on site so we thought this day would be a great day to go there and let the kids swim there.

So it was water park day!


Here are the kids in the morning. There were these huge birds that would come to our room (you can see them in the background). They came 4 years ago when we were there so we were excited when they came again this time :)

Then it was time to go to the water park :)


Here is Hannah and Daddy


Hannah playing in the water with a water gun


Hannah in the water


Hannah playing with James


Snuggling with Auntie Ajay

My life with a baby and disabled spouse

I wanted to write this out as I know there are others in the same boat and probably feeling the same way as me.

One of my friends once said that I was basically a single parent. Yes, Mark helps out as much as he can but with his limitations, it was very hard for him and I was basically on my own. She went onto explain how when her husband was deployed she was on her own with 3 girls and she was basically a single parent and it was hard.

That brought tears to my eyes. I felt like someone finally really understood.

When we were going through the home study, our social worker once took me aside and we specifically talked about Mark’s health for an hour. She wanted to make sure I knew it was going to be tough. I told her I was fully aware of that and I ensured her that I had a lot of family support and I was optimistic about it. She asked if I ever thought I’d get frustrated at Mark because he wasn’t able to do as much. I told her I knew I’d get very frustrated but I also knew Mark would try his hardest and would give 100% and that was all I could ask for.

And he definitely has.

But in all honesty, I don’t think I realized how much things would really change. And I didn’t expect to have a baby that doesn’t sleep.

Before Hannah, I was 100% there for Mark. I ordered his medications every month, made all his appointments, gave him all his shots (6 a day), drove him to all his appointments as he no longer has a driver’s license because of his eye sight and was there for him when he was in pain, called the doctor, etc.

Now with Hannah, I do that, plus I have a 1-year-old.

Mark definitely helps as much as he can. He'll do the laundry if I can bring the clothes up and down the stairs and he'll also cook sometimes. I know he'd do more if he could.

He also gives 100% to Hannah and would do anything for her. But the truth is, he’s not able to do much. He can’t get up with her at night because his eyes are so bad that he can’t see in the dark. We were told by our physician that it’s a high risk to both him and Hannah to help out much at night and we agree. It’s hard for him to carry her because of his dizzy spells…again a high risk for both him and Hannah. And he can’t walk with her when she’s fussy because he has bad back pain. Even diapers are next to impossible for him as with his eye sight, it’s hard for him to find the tabs on them with the line perception and therefore can’t do that. It used to be easier when Hannah didn’t move around so much but everyone knows a 1-year-old will not sit still for anything. :)

I promise I’m not complaining. I wouldn’t trade this for anything.

But at the same time, I admit it’s hard. On top of raising our girl, I find myself constantly at the clinic with an appointment or something. We’re in there at least once a week and this week, because of his hospital stay, we’ve got 4 appointments to go to. Even when we’re not at the clinic and it’s just a normal day at home, it seems there is always something with him that he doesn’t feel good whether it’s chest pain, neuropathy pain in his legs, dizzy spells, back pain, headaches or tremors. It’s always something every day which breaks my heart for him.

We are extremely blessed that both of us are home all day and Hannah doesn’t have to go to daycare. VERY blessed. I thank God every day that I can watch my girl grow up. Every day, I get to rock her to sleep for naps and feed her and watch and listen to her crawl down the hall and peek through the door to make sure I’m actually working. What a blessing! I LOVE being a work-at-home mom.

But I admit it also makes me tired. With the exception of Tuesdays (when it’s Grandma Day and we really appreciate those days), I honestly don’t get a break. I finally started having a couple baby-sitters come over after school a couple days a week just to have some time to get cleaning done, bills paid, etc., because a lot of it Mark doesn’t have the strength or endurance to do it and I certainly don’t have the time to do it any other time. Plus, honestly, my time with Hannah does take priority over EVERYTHING. But having a few hours a week to get “caught up” definitely helps.

It’s just the way my life is. There are many days I’m overwhelmed with everything. I know part of it is because I’m tired and have so much on my plate without much “me” time. But I know it will pass. After all, it’s already been a year. :( One day Hannah will be sleeping better and then I know I’ll have more time and energy to do more. Right now I go to bed when Hannah goes to bed which is at about 7-8. I’ve learned to sleep when she sleeps and that’s a priority to me. The dishes and cleaning may not be done but it’s important to get as much rest as I can when I have a husband and a daughter who depend on me so much.

So, that is just a glimpse of my life. Yes, I feel like a single parent at times and a single parent with a disabled spouse, adding onto the stress. That may sound critical of Mark but it certainly doesn’t mean to be. I know he gives 110% and would give more if he could. I couldn’t ask for a father who loved Hannah more.

I’d rather have a disabled husband who gives 110% than a healthy husband who gives 10%.

Hannah and I are so blessed.

Trip to Disney Day 3

This day was Magic Kingdom day. :)

Awww, Magic Kingdom. I can honestly say after spending my time there basically from open to close for one whole day with a 1-year-old and a disabled spouse, I don't care if I ever see Magic Kingdom again. It went fine but it wasn't easy.

But it was fun. :)

We did get a chance to meet a fellow member of a chat board that I started chatting with in 2004. When we found out we were both going to be in Disney that week and then both at Magic Kingdom on the same day, we definitely had to meet! Unfortunately the pics I took were on my phone so I can't upload them right now. But it was amazing to finally meet Jess after "talking" with her for so many years. I love meeting my fellow infertility friends!

Anyway, because Hannah was so young and Mark was in a wheelchair, we didn't get to do too much there. :( It seemed we were sitting around and waiting most of the day. But it was fun to watch our nieces and nephews having a blast. :)

Hannah did get to meet Woody and Jessie from Toy Story. Of course, she didn't like it very much:

Here she is with Mommy, Peyton and Jamie. She didn't want to be anywhere near Jessie and Woody.


Hannah at the happiest place on Earth....


Daddy and Hannah at the Tom Sawyer Island


Hannah giving Peyton a kiss. She loves her Peyton :)


Hannah in her stroller and Daddy in his wheelchair


The 3 of us in front of the castle. I can't figure out how to turn this picture around so you might have to turn your head. :)


Our whole family in front of the castle at night all lit up. It was beautiful!


Daddy and Hannah

Trip to Disney Day 2

On the second day we were in Florida, it was cold and raining. By cold it was in the 60s. Granted we were from Wisconsin and it was in the 20s when we left, so by 60s, it wasn't so bad. :)

In the morning, my brother, Hannah and I went to pick up my parents from the airport while the rest of the family went orange picking.

Then after lunch, we all went swimming. Yes, it was raining and in the 60s and we went swimming. We had the whole waterpark to ourselves. :) But, we were in Florida and we were going to go swimming. :)


Here is Peyton and Hannah together. Hannah sure loves Peyton!


Here are the 4 girl cousins, Bemnet, Adelaide, Peyton and Hannah. I love this picture!


Here are the cousins making a pile with the cushions...and on the bottom is their uncle Aaron. He was such a trooper.


Here is Hannah at the pool


Hannah and Mommy


Hannah and Mommy swimming


Hannah with her auntie Ajay. After awhile it was cold so we got Hannah dressed in a sweatshirt. :)

Trip to Disney Day 1

Our trip to Orlando was actually in limbo.

Two days before we were going to be leaving, Mark had a severe episode of chest pain that landed him in the ER. He was admitted to rule out a heart attack. He was ruled out and he was discharged the next day and we were given the go ahead to go to Orlando.

Scary times but we were happy Mark was okay.

We spent the night before we were flying out at a hotel next to the airport.

Here are Daddy and Hannah at the hotel waiting to get onto the shuttle:


I honestly was very worried about going through the airport and flying with Mark and Hannah. Because of Mark's health issues, it's a little stressful with Mark as we have to get a wheelchair, assistance, etc. Then to add that a 1-year-old, I was pretty nervous.

But in all honesty, it went great. Hannah did wonderful. I was so proud of her. We had quite a few people tell us she did a wonderful job.


Here she is on the plane. :)

When we landed, it was so cute. Right when the plane landed on the strip, she got very surprised and her mouth went into a big "O". It was so cute.

When we landed we met my brother and went to get a rental car. By the time we got to our condo, it was about 9 at night and we were pretty tired. It was already a couple hours past Hannah's bedtime. So we went straight to bed.

We were happy to make it to Orlando with no health cares and not a screaming baby on the flight. :)

Christmas 2012

Awww, Christmas. :)

I had been looking forward to Christmas with Hannah forever. Our church has a church service at 6 a.m. on Christmas morning so we woke up early to go there. I didn't get Hannah dressed, she just went in her pjs. :)

When we got there, she started being a little fussy. After awhile I brought her downstairs so we wouldn't bother anyone.

That's when she threw up. :(

Yeah, my poor Hannah Banana was sick on Christmas Day. She ended up with a 102 fever and just snuggled with Mommy the whole day.

I felt so bad for her.


Here she is when we ate dinner. You can tell in her eyes that she just wasn't feeling well. And yes she's still in her pjs. She stayed in them all day. Poor thing.

We opened up presents after dinner and she just stayed in my lap most of the time. But she did smile a little...bless her heart:





Even with a sick little girl, Christmas was still wonderful. It was great spending time with the family and my little girl. Last year on Christmas Day we brought Hannah home. Christmas will always be special to us

Hannah's Christmas outfit

One of the greatest things about having a baby during holidays is dressing them up in cute outfits. :)

I was so excited to show Hannah off at church the Sunday before church. I have to say I think she was adorable. :)




Here she is in the nursery before church started


Playing with Peyton


Hannah and Daddy

Hannah's 1st birthday party

I'm going to get caught up on some important milestones in Hannah's life and some important times in her life.

First her first birthday party. We had a wonderful turnout. We had invited the people who had been a huge part of her life for her first year which included family, her baby-sitters and important "aunties" and we were so happy most were able to come, especially being it was so close to Christmas.

Here she is with her party hat on :)



Here are some of the people who came to her party:






Then it was time to eat her first cupcake. We stripped her down and then sang to her. She LOVED us singing and actually didn't like it when we stopped. :) It was so cute.

It took her awhile to actually get into the cupcake but once she did, there was no stopping her. :)



Then it was time for presents:



It was a wonderful party and we were so happy everyone came. We are so blessed to have the family and friends we have.

Here is our family with our 1-year-old. What a wonderful year it has been