Fun at the fair

This weekend was our local fair & Hannah had so much fun. 

She got to see so many animals. 

Of course she went on rides & went on the Ferris wheel for the first time!

We found the cutest animals at the fair

And the not so cute...

She was even in the clogging show:

Overall a very fun but busy weekend. :). We love the fair!!

Cascade Falls

Not too far away from where we live, we have a waterfall called Cascade Falls. We had always talked about going there but we hadn't until today. Kinda sad when great things are right by you & you don't see it. :(

But at least we made it. :)

It was quite the walk down to the bottom & it was hard for Mark but he was determined to get down there. We just took our time. 

Hannah on the bridge. She's singing of course --what else would she be doing? 

Mark

Hannah down at the falls 

Daddy & Hannah 

Mommy & Hannah 

A big scare

One of the things I like to make sure I document and talk about are Hannah and Mark together---the good times and bad times. They have an amazing bond and I always want them to remember that.

As most people know, Mark is a diabetic with serious health issues. He struggles literally every day with some kind of pain, insulin reaction, etc. There is always something.

A few days ago, Hannah and I had traveled a couple hours away for a birthday party. Normally I don't do that as I'm too far away for my own comfort in case something happens, but Mark insisted he was fine so we decided to go.

Like I always do when I'm gone from Mark for awhile, I called him every couple hours to make sure he was okay.

After awhile, though, he stopped answering the phone and it went straight to voicemail. At first, I wasn't too concerned, thinking maybe he was outside for a minute or on the phone or something. But when it became 45 min and he still wasn't answering the phone, I became very nervous.

On my drive home, I was extremely nervous. I didn't have a good feeling. I kept praying to God that this not be the end. Mark has told me many times that when he dies, he wants me there holding his hand. I couldn't bear the thought if that didn't happen and I had had a chance to make that happen.

I had hoped Hannah would fall asleep during the drive but she didn't. She was her normal self, unaware of what was going on, just singing away---while I struggled to not burst into tears.

Not sure what we were going to walk into, when we got home, I told Hannah "Now we have to go in and see Daddy, but I want you to stay behind Mommy, okay?". I didn't want her to be the first to see him if it was bad.

When we walked in the house, I immediately yelled Mark's name in which I heard a low groan. A groan that made my heart settle a bit....at least he was alive.

I ran into the living room with Hannah on my heels and found him on the couch. His eyes were glassy, he was extremely pale and he was sweating profusely--an immediate sign of a low sugar reaction. He looked awful.

However, to Hannah, he was Daddy and to her, nothing was wrong. She immediately grabbed his hand and started telling him all about the party and everything she did. He wasn't responding at all, even to her voice.

I leaned down and said to Hannah "Daddy's sick. I need your help, ok? We have to get some medicine for Daddy and I need you to keep talking to him, ok?"

Hannah said "Ok Mommy!" and immediately ran to the kitchen to the freezer where she knew where his "medicine" was---sherbet.

I helped get the sherbet down and we went right back to Daddy. Hannah wanted to help so desperately. Knowing he probably wouldn't be able to eat much (his teeth were clenched so tight), I figured I'd have to get a sugar shot into him.

So while Hannah was trying desperately to get sherbet into Mark (all the sherbet landed on his chest instead of his mouth), I went into the bathroom and got his sugar shot. When I came back out, Hannah was desperately trying to get Mark to eat the sherbet. When I started giving him his shot, I explained to Hannah that this shot would help him feel better--just like the other shots he gets.

After I gave him his shot, Hannah reached for Mark's hand and said "Now you'll feel better Daddy!"

It took about 10 min for Mark to start coming to and Hannah never left his side. She kept holding his hand and kept talking to him about the party.

When Mark started coming to and he looked over at Hannah, I'll never forget the reaction on her face when she knew Mark was starting to respond. She looked at me and pointed at Mark and said "Mommy, look! Daddy's awake!"

And then to see the huge smile on Mark's face when he saw Hannah--priceless.

It was a terrifying experience for me. It certainly hasn't been the first time it's happened and certainly won't be the last time. These happen so quickly and we never know when it will happen. One minute I was talking to Mark on the phone, sounding just fine, only to have him go into a reaction less than an hour later.

It's always on my mind. I can never fully enjoy any event I go to. I'm always wondering if Mark is okay. I always wonder what I'll come home to. I feel guilty leaving the house for anything. Even a trip to the grocery store can cause anxiety for me.

But what I can be so proud of is the way my little girl handles it, how she responds and how she can be Mommy's little helper.

And the best is seeing her reaction when Mark finally comes to.

She's so excited to see her Daddy and he's so excited to see her.

Our Gotcha Day

Gotcha Day is a very special day that we will be celebrating every year. We had so much fun this year. We did things Hannah loves to do. 

First we got a donut. She was more excited about the Scooby Doo ring than her donut. :). 

After our donut, we met up with a friend who took a few family pics & Fourth of July pictures. We had lots of fun! She has 3 girls who I used to coach gymnastics with & it had been awhile since I had seen them. It was so great to see them again!!

Here are a couple of my favorites. 

After that, we went to McDonalds. She was able to choose wherever she wanted to go & of course she chose McDs. :)

Next we went to a hotel near the MOA that has a huge kiddie pool. We had gone there before after Mark's long hospital stay as a treat for Hannah after going through so much & she LOVED the pool! So what better way to celebrate Gotcha Day than going back. She had so much fun!!

Then we went out to eat at the Grille next to the hotel & that was so delicious!

It was a wonderful day & memories were made. A great day to celebrate family. I LOVE Gotcha Day!

Gotcha Day/Adoption Day 2014

My dearest Hannah,

It was 2 years ago today the courts legally declared you our daughter. What we knew in our hearts all along, the courts made it legal.

One of the best and most joyful days of our lives.

Today is the day we will celebrate legally becoming a family, just like we celebrate your birthday, the day we were blessed when you came into our lives. While your birth was a one-time event, just like the day your adoption became legal, we still celebrate it every year and we will do the same with this day, what we like to call Gotcha Day.

I like to compare an adoption to a birth. While some people will always think of you as adopted, to us, it was a one-time event. Something we had to go through to bring you home to us, just like your birth. You're only born once, just like you're only adopted once. Your adoption doesn't define you sweetheart. I'm your mom. Your dad is your dad. You're our daughter and you always have been and always will be.

We're a family and that's all that matters.

I also know it is an important part of your life and an important part of your history and you will always be able to talk to me about it. You'll always be able to ask me anything. I'm your mom and I will always be there for you.

Most of all, I want you to know how lucky you are to be adopted. I want so badly for you to love your birth mom, to respect and admire her so much for what she did. In the past I've worded it that she "gave you up" and I wish I could take those words back. She didn't "give you up". She gave you a better life. She wanted you to have a better life than what she could give you. I saw the look on her face as the doctor handed you to me.

A look of pure love for you, sweetheart.

What an amazing, selfless thing for her to do, to give you a better life. I can't think of a bigger love than that. What a hard thing for her to do and, quite honestly, something I don't know if I could ever do.

You are so lucky. You are so blessed. You are so loved.

Today is a celebration, honey. Some day you'll know how hard we worked for this day to happen, how much we went through to bring you home.

You'll also know how much your birth mom went through and how hard this day is for her--because she loves you.

You're our baby girl. Our baby girl who is and always will be twice loved more than you can ever imagine.

Happy Gotcha Day, Hannah!

Like I tell you every day and you tell me right back: I love you so, so, so, so much! I love you the best!

Love,

Mommy