Hannah's first birthday

Hannah's first birthday was absolutely perfect.

I took the day off and was able to say Happy Birthday to my girl at 1:30 a.m. when she woke me up. Then I got to tell her again at 3:30, then 4:15. She really wanted to celebrate. :)

We first went to get a donut and she had her first donut. I don't think she knew what to think at first but then she really dug into it.

Then we came home and she took a 2-hour nap in my arms. It was wonderful. So wonderful. She woke up, saw my face and then smiled. It was so wonderful.

Then we went out to eat for lunch.

And then the BIG surprise. :)

She had her first ice cream. :) And, oh, did she have fun. Ironically she didn't like the chocolate or mint, but really loved the vanilla. :)





It was such a perfect day. I can't believe I have a 1-year-old!

Here are a couple pics of our cute 1-year-old :)

Our christmas card--Merry Christmas!!

Hi everybody! It’s Hannah!

I’m going to take over writing the Christmas letter. I know that’s usually Mommy’s job but I’ve seen her work and to be honest, I think I can do better. Don’t tell her I told you that, but I think hers is kinda boring. So I decided I’d take over this year.

This year has been quite great! For the most part, my mommy and daddy have been taking care of me so I honestly can’t imagine life being any better than taking care of sweet, little me!

In January, my mommy was still on maternity leave with me which was so much fun. I wasn’t doing much except peeing, pooping and eating.

In February, Mommy went back to work which was hard for her. I’m so lucky Mommy works from home for the hospital so I can still see her every day. I know she really loves working from home. On Tuesdays I have my Grandma Days where my grandma takes care of me and I get to play with my cousin Jamie. Otherwise Daddy usually watches me while Mommy works. Man, I’ve got it good.

In March, I was just being my cute self.

In April, my brother Peter got married to my new sister, Michele. I got to wear a pretty new dress and had so many people telling me how cute I was. I also went up to the North Shore with my mommy and daddy on our first vacation as a family. April was a big month as I was also dedicated to God on Easter Sunday. My mommy and daddy promised to God to raise me in a Christian home and I think they are doing a great job so far. I’m in Puggles in my church’s AWANA group on Wednesdays with my cousin, Jamie, and I love it.

In May, I started rolling over! I was kinda upset at first because Mommy just kept trying to encourage me to roll over instead of helping me and then got so excited when I did it. Hello! If you want me to roll over, just help me! But, I guess that’s a big milestone.

In June, I started getting teeth! Apparently that’s a big thing as my mommy kept showing everyone and kept putting her fingers in my mouth to show everyone the teeth. It was annoying. I wonder how Mommy would feel if I put my fingers in her mouth all the time.

In July, it was a big month for our family. On July 3, my mommy and daddy legally became my mommy and daddy. It’s called “Gotcha Day”. I always knew they were my mommy and daddy but the courts had to make it official. It meant we no longer needed to have visits from the nice social worker and didn’t have to have monthly checks and we could be a normal family. We celebrated by having family over July 4 and I was so excited so many family came to see me, especially being it was over 100 degrees. I was also in my first parade. Grandpa and Grandma were in the parade for their toy business and I got to ride in a wagon with my mommy pulling me. I was still just sitting so it was fun to sit in the wagon. There were so many people there who thought I was so cute but to be honest, I was more interested in my toys in the wagon and my bottle than looking at all the people looking at me.

In August, I went on my first road trip! I went to see my Uncle Aaron in Chicago. It was a long drive but I took the opportunity to try and sleep being I don’t tend to sleep much at home. It was so much fun seeing Aaron. I got to go to the zoo and see a zebra! I love zebras. My brother, Chad, also moved out to North Dakota for a better job. My mommy says that’s far away and that makes me sad as I don’t get to see him very much anymore.

In September, I started crawling. Oh, man did I start having fun then! Wow. Life is so good now. I also won a Cutest Baby Contest for my mommy’s work. I wasn’t surprised. I am pretty cute. Not to brag too much, but I do hear how cute I am A LOT.

In October, it was my first Halloween. I went as a banana….get it, Hannah Banana? Just humor my mommy. She thought it was so cute. My grandma made my costume and I admit she did a great job. Peter and Michele also had a baby boy, Cruz. So, that means I’m an aunt. I’m not even a year old and I’m an aunt already. I guess I’m an overachiever.

In November, it was my first Thanksgiving and it was so much fun. I’m not much of an eater so the food wasn’t too exciting for me but it was still nice to see and play with all my cousins.

In December, I’ll turn 1. It’s so hard to believe, isn’t it? Doesn’t it seem like I just came home?

I know there is a proper way to end a Christmas letter, but I desperately need a diaper change (or like Mommy calls it, a code brown) so I’ll end it here.

Happy Birthday Hannah!!

My sweet Hannah,

Today you turn 1. It’s so hard for me to put into words what this last year has meant to me and what joy you’ve brought to my life.

From day 1, you’ve been my girl, my whole life and my whole world. I’ve always wanted to be a mommy. I’ve always thought there was no greater joy and love than the love of a child and you’ve proven that to be true.

Our journey to bring you home was a journey of years full of heartache, frustration, losses and many tears. We had so many circumstances stacked against us. But we kept fighting. I wanted so badly to be a mother and I didn’t want to give up on my child, so we kept fighting.

And we brought you home. There has never been a greater fight fought and won.

It was more than worth it.

Hannah, every day being your mommy is such a blessing. It’s a gift. Every day you wake up, I’m reminded that you are my precious daughter. A gift sent from heaven. Every breath I feel you make when I hold you against my chest takes my breath away. Your smile melts my heart.

There is no greater joy than being your mommy.

This past year has been amazing, the best year of my life. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve taught me to cherish life, to love unconditionally, to always put love and family first. You’ve shown me and the world that miracles happen and that there are so many wonderful, amazing people and so much good in this world.

I’ve seen that sparkle in Daddy’s eyes that has been missing for years. You’ve given him an amazing amount of strength that I don’t think he even knew he had. He glows when people tell him you look like him. He’s so proud to be your daddy and he loves you more than anything. He prays over you every night and tells you he loves you. You have an amazing daddy.

Happy birthday my Hannah. You’re an amazing little girl and I’m so honored to be your mommy. You are my heart and my soul and I give all I have to you and I know you give it right back to me.

I’m excited for a lifetime of birthdays, love, happiness and joy. We’ve only just begun.

With all my love,
Mommy

Hannah, I will be there for you

Warning! While this post may offend some people, that is certainly not the intention. While I’m not able to “cry it out” I have the utmost respect and love for parents that do. I know it is their way of parenting and I respect that. Please know I don’t think I’m better than you by any means because I choose differently. I just have a different parenting style. This is simply a letter for Hannah that one day I want her to read.

My dearest Hannah,

You’re 1 year old and we’re still having issues with your sleeping. Despite so many people telling me to let you “cry it out”, I just can’t do it.

I’ve heard it all. “I have to teach you to self-soothe”, “I’m spoiling you”, “you’re manipulating me”, “I’m not being disciplinary enough”, “I’m teaching you to walk all over me”.

I don’t agree with that and I want to tell you why.

Right now, your only form of communication is crying. You can’t tell me why you’re crying, if you’re hurting, sick, hungry, wet, cold, hot, scared, or just plain want your mommy. All you can “tell” me is that something just isn’t right for you.

Yeah, you might have a full tummy, you’re feeling fine and the temperature might be perfect. But you might just want Mommy. After all, right now, I’m your lifeline, the one you know will always be there for you, the one that feeds you, clothes you, changes you and makes you feel better. Maybe my arms are the safest place you know in the world and if being in my arms, gives you comfort, I will be there for you. Sometimes even in adults the stresses of life are too much and having someone there to comfort us is what we need.

I know one day you’ll learn to sleep through the night. As a matter of fact, I’m sure when you’re a teenager I’ll have to drag you out of bed for school as you hit the snooze button for the fifth time that morning.

Until then, I will be there for you.

I’m not saying these sleepless nights are easy. Some nights are so hard, I cry because I’m so tired. I go through my days feeling like a zombie. I love sleep. I love naps. Just like everyone else, I need sleep and it’s hard not getting it. Some days I can’t imagine these days will ever end.

But in truth, I know they will and I’ll want them back.

So until then, I will be there for you.

I want to tell you this. When Daddy and I got married, we had a really hard couple years. Daddy was so sick before his kidney transplant. There were many nights he couldn’t sleep because he had so much fluid buildup in his lungs. He was in the ER at least once a week and in the hospital at least every 2 weeks. There were many sleepless nights. I didn’t think it would ever pass.

But, it did. And I was there for your daddy and I will be there for you.

I’m your mommy, Hannah, and I’m your mommy 24 hours a day. I can’t imagine what it would be like for you to have your mommy all day and then to be put into bed at night, wake up when it’s dark and not have your mommy there for you when you want her there. I can imagine if I wasn’t there for you, you would be so scared. And if that’s one thing I can give you is comfort, then I will give it to you. I will be there for you. I won’t clock out at your bedtime and clock back in when you wake up.

Having you as a non-sleeper is a blessing. Do you know why? You show me you need me. You show me that I comfort you. You show me that I’m the one who makes you feel better. I’m the one who helps you when you need help. I’m the one who has the best, warmest, most comforting arms in the whole world. I’m the one who has the soothing voice who lets you know that everything will be okay. In your eyes, I’m a hero.

Thank you for that gift my sweet daughter.

I waited 9 years to have you in my arms. I know one day I will no longer be your saving grace. I’m going to be the mom who doesn’t know anything or understand anything. Although you will always need me in some way, you won’t need me to hold you to comfort you all the time, to help you sleep, to help soothe you.

So, until that time, I will enjoy the sleepless nights. I’ll take comfort in knowing that even though I’m not getting the sleep I want, I’m giving you the comfort and love you need from your mommy.

When I choose between sleep and you, I choose you.

I will always choose you. I will be there for you.

And when I see that big, precious smile and the way you reach out to me, I know I’m doing what I always said I wanted to do as a mommy. To show you I love you and to know that you love me back. Those smiles make every sleepless night worth it.

So until you learn to sleep through the night or you can tell me what is bothering you, I will be there for you. And I know eventually you’ll learn, in your own time. Just like you learned to roll over, sit up, crawl, stand and soon walk. You’ll learn to sleep through the night when you’re ready.

Until then, I will always be there for you. I’ll drink pots of coffee, grab a catnap when I can, put toothpicks in my eyes to keep them open, I’ll do it all. I’ll rock you, feed you, love up on you at 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m., whenever.

Because I know one day I’ll be begging you to get up at 10 a.m. and I’ll want these days back.

I cherish this time because I can’t get it back once it’s gone.

I love you my sweet daughter.

Love,
Mommy

Hannah's and my song

This is a moment I will never forget and I hope Hannah won’t in years to come.

Last year on Christmas Eve, Hannah was only 4 days old. My mom and Mark and my friend had left for a bit and it was just Hannah and I at the house. We were watching music videos on TV.

Celi.ne Di.on’s song, Christmas Eve, came on about the time Hannah started fussing and I stood up and swayed and rocked her and she calmed down right away and was just looking at me. With the song in the background, I started singing it to her, really paying attention to the words for the first time. With tears in my eyes, I realized just how perfect this song was in many ways.

I’ll never forget that feeling of being with her, singing and listening to this song while she was in my arms at only 4 days old.

Since then, I’ve decided every Christmas Eve, Hannah and I will dance, listen and sing this song together. It’s going to be our tradition.

Unfortunately I can’t get YouTube to work right now and can’t find the video but I did find the words in case you don’t know the song. Just reading the words, you can imagine how much it touched my heart that day and how perfect the song was.

Here it is...Hannah’s and my song:

Celi.ne Di.on’s Christmas Eve

Snow falling gently on the ground
'Tis is the night before
And in my heart there is no doubt
That this is gonna be
The brightest holiday
'Cause here you are with me
Baby, baby, I can't wait

To spend this special time of year with someone who
Makes me feel the special way that you do

Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and they can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

We'll stay up late tonight
Decorate the tree
Just look into my eyes
And I will tell you truthfully
That I don't need no Santa Claus
To hear my Christmas wish
I got you in my arms
And what could be a better gift
Than to spend my very favorite time of year
With the one I really love so near, Oh Yeeeaahhh
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/c/celine_dion/christmas_eve.html ]
Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and they can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

And the bells are ringing when I hear you say
We'll do it all again on Christmas Day
I can't wait

Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and they can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

Walkin' with you in a winter's snow
Kissin' underneath the mistletoe
People smiling everywhere we go
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

Ooh, you make the season bright
With the lights reflecting in your eyes
All my dreams are comin' true tonight
It's Christmas Eve and I can see we're in love

My family

Hannah with Santa

Hannah's first visit with Santa

She's gonna hate this picture when she gets older. :)

Picture taking for Christmas cards

Here is from a photo session with Hannah for Christmas cards. Which one is your favorite? :)

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