Mark's transplant journey

When my husband Mark was 4 years old, his brother found him unresponsive. They found out his blood sugar was extremely high and he had diabetes. Diabetes is a disease in which the pancreas does not produce insulin that the body needs to control the blood sugar levels in the body. After years of dealing with this disease, it can cause complications throughout the whole body including the eyes, stomach, feet, hands, heart and kidneys. At the time the family found out he had diabetes, they were told Mark wouldn’t survive his teenage years.

Mark and I met in June 1996. I found out about Mark’s health issues with his diabetes, but it never bothered me. My grandparents and uncle had diabetes in my family, so I grew up with it and didn’t really know any different. However, I thought diabetes just meant you couldn’t eat sugar and had to give yourself insulin shots every day. I didn’t think anything could be worse than not being able to eat sugar and having to give yourself shots. As a kid, I thought it was horrible! I didn’t realize just how much diabetes can affect the whole body until I married Mark and watched firsthand what he has been through and continues to go through.

Mark and I got engaged several years after we met. At that time, Mark was feeling pretty good. We knew that his kidneys were failing due to diabetic damage to his kidneys and that he would need a transplant, but he was still working and still feeling pretty good.

I had always wanted a Christmas wedding so not long after we got engaged, we set a date for December 1, 2001.

Several months after we got engaged, Mark started getting sick really fast. He could hardly get out of bed. He had to stop working. The kidneys job in the body is to filter the blood of extra waste and fluid and create the urine. When the kidneys aren’t working correctly, it can cause a lot of fluid to build up in your body. This can cause someone to have a lot of swelling, can cause breathing trouble and be very tired. When the kidneys fail, sometimes the person has to be put on what is called dialysis. It is a treatment that uses a special machine to filter harmful wastes, salt, and excess fluid from your blood that normally the kidneys do. A person has to sit in a chair for 3 hours 3 days a week. While it certainly is life-saving and needed, it is an exhausting treatment on a body.

Mark was getting so sick that it was decided he would need to start dialysis. During this time, it was very stressful for me and hard. I was an emotional wreck. While Mark’s health was up in the air, we thought it would be a good idea to move the wedding up to May 2001. Both families were very supportive and thought it was a great idea. I've always wanted a Christmas wedding, so our families worked very hard for us to put a Christmas wedding together in 6 weeks. They dug out the Christmas trees, lights and decorations and decorated the church to make it look like Christmas. There were candles in the windows and even though it was 4 in the afternoon in the middle of May, with freshly mowed green grass outside, we still had a "candlelight" ceremony. It was beautiful.

While we were putting together a wedding on short notice, Mark was also being evaluated for a kidney transplant. There are many tests Mark had to undergo to be approved for a kidney transplant. So far tests were coming back good.

Two weeks after our wedding, Mark went in for an x-ray test that uses a special dye and camera to take pictures of the blood flow in the arteries in the heart. This was the last test Mark needed to do before being cleared for the kidney transplant. Unfortunately when they performed this test, there was found to be decreased blood flow to the heart which needed to be fixed before he could have a kidney transplant. Mark would need to have heart surgery to open up the blood flow to the heart. This would require not only the surgery, but months of recovery and rehabilitation before being considering for a kidney transplant again.

In August 2001, Mark underwent a triple bypass heart surgery to open up his blood flow to the heart.

While Mark was recovering and completing his rehabilitation, the search for a living kidney donor continued on. This wasn’t easy and we were faced with a journey of hope and heartache and in the end the transplant almost didn’t happen. In order to be considered to donate a kidney, you need to have the same blood type. There are 4 different blood types: A, AB, B and O. Three of Mark’s brothers had the same blood type as Mark. To donate a kidney, you have to go through a lot of testing to make sure your body can donate a kidney safely and that your body can handle the stress.

Unfortunately with all the testing, two of the brothers were unable to donate a kidney to Mark. The third brother was approved to donate his kidney. They prepared to set the transplant for the middle of January in 2002. Before the surgery could happen though, Mark had to redo some of the testing to approve him for the surgery as it had been almost a year since they had done the testing. He underwent a procedure to check his heart and how well it was working.

It was then that shockingly they discovered that sometime in the last few months, Mark had had a silent heart attack and he had severe heart damage. His heart was found to only be working at 15%. We were referred for a heart transplant.

That’s right---we were looking at not only a kidney transplant but suddenly a heart transplant.

This was the first and only time I’ve ever heard Mark say “I give up” and quite honestly, I felt the same way. Imagine being so close to feeling better, being able to stop dialysis which was so hard on Mark’s body, and then being told your heart was so weak, you may need a heart transplant along with a kidney transplant. It was pretty overwhelming.

After Mark went through more testing of his heart, it was decided that even with his weak heart, he would be approved for the kidney transplant. He would need to have a heart doctor by his side during the kidney transplant and it was very possible something could happen during the surgery but the kidney transplant was important to help Mark feel better.

It was our only hope at this time and so we went for it.

On March 21, 2002, Mark received a kidney from his brother. While he did have a heart attack during the transplant, God certainly protected him and his brother and it was a successful transplant surgery.

One of my favorite songs says "I will look back and see that You are faithful. I look ahead believing you are able".

When I look back at Mark’s kidney transplant journey, I know God has been so amazingly faithful.

We were told we would be lucky Mark's kidney would make it 10 years----it will be 15 years in March and his kidney continues to work very well.

Mark's heart was only working at 15% at the time of his transplant and we were told that would never get better. Tests have shown it is now at 40% which is a miracle.

Mark and I at our wedding May 5, 2001

Mark’s brother, Scott, donated his kidney to Mark in March 2002. Here is Mark seeing Scott for the first time after the transplant. This year marks 15 years.


Tomorrow is our infertility and adoption story

Telling my story

I had the complete HONOR of telling my story for our Women's Ministry group at my church. To be able to tell people how God has worked in my family's life was an amazing feeling. I was pretty nervous. I'm not good at speaking. Plus due to a speaker being sick, I was pushed up a week unexpectedly so didn't get as much time to prepare as I would have liked.

But God sure helped me through it. :)

For this week, I will be sharing what I shared as I want it on my blog also. I love sharing our story. Reliving it is admittedly hard.....but I also see so much of what God has done for us.

Here is part 1 of what I shared:

My life has been a roller coaster with some big highs and big lows. There were three major times in my life that I really felt the Lord’s guidance and presence that I would like to share with you: 1. Mark’s kidney transplant. 2. Our infertility journey. 3. Mark’s brain bleed.

I love to write and journal my feelings. It’s been very therapeutic for me. I started blogging in 2007 which is online journaling and I’ve met so many wonderful people from around the world, even as far as Korea and Australia and it has been a huge blessing for me.

I’d like to start out with sharing my story by reading a letter I wrote when I was 40 years old to my 20-year-old self. It kind of summarizes some of what I’d like to share with you today. 


Dear 20-year-old Tammy,

You don't know me.

I'm almost 20 years older than you. If you saw me on the street you wouldn't recognize me.

I know you're struggling right now. You graduated from high school, having had a huge amount of success in sports. You were on top of the world, ready for college to study to be a veterinarian. You were thinking you'll meet the man you are going to marry, have an amazing marriage, have the 4 kids you dreamed about and enjoy your childhood dream of being a veterinarian and saving the lives of animals.

You never dreamed you'd be in the position you are now--taking a break from college as it just wasn't for you, living at home and working 2 jobs--praying you'd find your path again. I know right now you are thinking your life is such a mess. You're depressed--wondering how life could get so hard.

You don't know the hardest is yet to come.

You don't know that after a month of starting your second job, you meet the man you're going to marry.

You don't know you're going to marry him thinking you'll be lucky if you're married 5 years before he passes away.

You don't know that your first year of marriage is spent in surgeries, dialysis runs and endless trips to the ER.

You don't know the dream of having 4 kids is going to be much harder than you realize.

You don't know you'll go through 8 years of infertility and unsuccessful medical procedures before turning to adoption

If you knew all this, you would be devastated. You wouldn't believe you could do it.

I'm here to tell you that you can and you will.

You don't know how strong your husband is, how his strength and faith are an inspiration to people all over the world.

You don't know that your daughter will be brought into this world in a way that can only be described as a "God thing" and her story will help others realize miracles DO happen.

You don't know that others will be inspired by your marriage and faith and just how much your story has touched others.

You don't know that all this was possible because of a struggle when you were 20 years old. You took a break from college, worked a second job--and met your husband because of it.

You don't know that your life will completely change. You'll go through more in the next 20 years than most go through in a lifetime.

You also don't know you'll be ok. Your faith in God will be stronger in the end.

You'll feel like the luckiest woman in the world as you hold your sleeping daughter in your arms.

You have a hard road ahead of you. But I promise you you'll be okay. Just like in another 20 years from now, my 60-year-old self will tell me the same thing:

You'll be ok. And you'll make it.

God is right by your side.

Hang in there. You're in for a wild ride.

But it's got an amazing ending. And I promise it's worth it.


Tomorrow: Mark's kidney transplant journey
 

Week 19 of 4K

This was another quiet week. Not too much was sent home.

It was "S" week this week.

Hannah felt bad as she didn't quite get the S right when she was practicing on the bottom of the page so the teacher helped her. It was so cute how she just felt so bad about it.

Here she had to listen to the teacher's directions and color parts of the snowman that she said.

When I saw this and read the directions that she was supposed to draw a line to the matching ones and color them in matching colors, I asked Hannah why she didn't do it. At first she said "I didn't feel like it". Then she said "I decided I would do it at home"---she didn't.

That attitude sure shines through sometimes. :) She gets that from her dad---most definitely.

Week 18 of 4K

This week was "I" week. :)

She was told to circle the Is in her I book. She only got to the first page and then said she "wanted to do the rest at home". :) She doesn't---she is already learning how to get out of work I think. :)

It seemed to be kind of a quiet week as she didn't bring home any projects---maybe I'll be bombarded by them soon. :)

She did get to bring her sled to school this week and they were able to go sledding at recess now. She was sooooo very excited about that!!

The Cherished Quilt

I want to share my review on a book called "The Cherished Quilt" by Amy Clipston....AND you have a chance to win the quilt featured on the cover!

That's right. Pretty cool, huh?

I do highly recommend this book....as does Hannah.

Here is my review:

In “The Cherished Quilt”, we see the return of Emily Fisher, the sister of Veronica and Rachel, whom we met in “The Forgotten Recipe” and “The Courtship Basket”. In this third book in the Amish Heirloom Series, we follow Emily in her quest to build a friendship with Christopher, a new employee at her father’s shop, who has suffered a tremendous loss and dealing with a broken heart.

Immediately into the story, Clipston grabs your heart by describing Christopher’s anguish, guilt and torment over the loss of his family member. You find yourself wanting to comfort Christopher and wanting him to find some happiness and sparkle in his life.

Your heart is also drawn to Emily, who clearly puts others before herself and while finds herself happy for her sister’s exciting times in their lives, also struggles with jealousy. Both characters exhibit feelings we can all relate to: Sadness, discouragement, happiness, and guilt.

This book tackles issues that most of us have felt at some point in our lives and you feel drawn to the characters, Emily and Christopher, while learning more about Emily’s sisters and the path their lives have taken. You can relate to the characters and long and wish for them to find the happiness they desire for.

The story is well written and does a great job of weaving in the stories from the first two books of the series. Although it certainly is helpful to read the first two books, it isn’t necessary as Clipston does a great job of summarizing them into Emily’s story.

This is certainly a page turner and keeps you engrossed in the story from the beginning to the end. You find yourself relating to the characters, getting frustrated over their decisions and yet understanding their feelings and emotions as if you were going through the experience and struggles yourself.

I would highly recommend this book to young adults and adults, those interested in romance, suspense and Amish Christian. This book will touch your heart and you will find yourself wanting to get to know Emily and Christopher more and more as the story continues.



And now you have a chance to win that quilt! All you have to do is follow this link, and post a unique picture of you with Amy's book. Good luck!

Preparing my heart

Last spring I went to an event called "A Day Set Apart for Women". It's a day..well, set apart for women. :) It has some key note speakers and then you're able to go to different sessions of other speakers on a more smaller group and pick speakers based on your interests.

It's so much fun for me and the one day a year that I like to really take time for me.

Last spring, the keynote speaker was Jennie Allen. She encouraged us to find out what God wants us to do with our life. It could be literally anything, even if it scares you. But God had a purpose for us in our life and it was our job to determine what it was.

I remember she said it may not be as easy as we think. "If you're having trouble figuring out what God wants you to do, listen to this. What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of what you should do? The thing that comes to your mind right NOW!"

I heard it loud and clear: Motivational speaking and writing a book.

The writing a book was something I could grasp. I had wanted to do it for a long time and been working on it.

But the motivational speaking? God, you've got to be kidding me.

I was voted "Quietest" in my high school class. Although I could do gymnastics in front of a crowd, I hate speaking. I was forced to take Speech in class and hated every minute of it. The only thing that could get me through it was my dear friend, Ativan.

So when motivational speaking came to my mind, I laughed it off. After all, God knew how much I disliked speaking in front of people so He wouldn't do that to me.....would He?

Yes, He would. :)

In the beginning of September, I was asked to speak at our annual church meeting about our experience when Mark was in the hospital. I admit, I was very nervous and felt like I would vomit, but seriously...how can you say no? Of course I was honored to speak and share how God and the church provided for us.

I was overwhelmed by the support and love that I got immediately after the meeting---even tears. So many thanked me for sharing. I told them what I tell so many, that it's God's story and I'm honored He's chosen me to share how good He is.

Recently our women's ministry at our church started a 6-week series on "If I Told You My Story" where 6 women from the church are chosen to share their stories.

Guess who was asked? Yes, yours truly. :)

And again, it's an honor! I'm so thrilled that my story was thought of as a way to encourage women.

I'm not saying I'm not nervous and praying I don't vomit----but I'm excited at the same time. :) I get to share how God has provided so much for me throughout the years! Not many get to say that and here I am, able to hopefully encourage others. And God chose me!

God is so good.

I truly believe He was speaking to me last spring. I believe He was preparing my heart. I really sincerely hope I have more opportunities to share my story. As I look back and relive some high points and low points, I realize God was always there and He had a plan.

And if you listen to your heart, He may take you on a journey you would never expect.

Week 17 of 4K

I'm not sure if I was completely ready for Hannah to go back to school after the Christmas break. But Hannah sure was. :) She was so excited to get back to school!

This week was "Y" week:

She also did a couple projects:

She was very excited to paint a picture of her family too:

She said the three of us are camping in a tent. I'm the one on the left with the yellow hair and Daddy is the one on the right listening to music. :) I love her imagination!

We also received the class photo which Hannah was so excited to show us and show us who her best friends were.

Love seeing how she's progressed through her school year. Love seeing how much she's improving with writing her name and how much her confidence is growing. :)