Gotcha Day 2019

My dearest Hannah,

I'm sitting here in awe as I realize it's been 7 years.

7 years since we got that call that you were legally Hannah Dawn Wondra. We would be receiving your legal birth certificate saying your name was no longer Laveha Elisabeth. You were Hannah Dawn.

It wasn't too long ago that we were discussing how you had two moms. You said to me "My tummy mommy is my first mommy and you are my second mommy, my heart mommy" You looked at me and said in the most tender voice "Does that make you sad, mommy?"

My heart swelled. I knew you understood. You have a gift for that. You always can tell when I'm just not myself, even when I try to hide it.

I didn't answer as I wasn't sure how to respond in a way that you would understand. You didn't wait for an answer. You just went onto the next subject of what you wanted to do when we left the restaurant, wanting to get some ice cream even though you hadn't eaten all your supper. The moment of talking about your two mommies was forgotten, at least in your mind.

But it's a moment I'll never forget.

I admit that I was sad and I wish I wasn't. There's that part of me that wishes I was not only your tummy mommy but also your heart mommy. There will always be that selfish part of me that wishes there wasn't that other mommy and that I was your one and only mommy. That we didn't have to talk about a tummy mommy and a heart mommy. That you have one mommy and that is me.

I can't help but feel it and it makes me feel selfish and guilty. Because without your two mommies, you wouldn't have the amazing story you have to share. The amazing story that God used you to bring glory to Him.

I know you understand that. I know you get that you are blessed to have two mommies. I know you get that you have a story that is amazing.

I also know that you don't know yet just how special that is and how you are so lucky and blessed to be chosen to be the one to live it.

It warms my heart that you are so in tune to my feelings. You recognize that you have two mommies and you recognize also that I also wish things were different and you respect that.

You have such a heart.

As much as I wish things were different and you didn't have to think about two mommies, I feel so honored and so blessed that I get to be your heart mommy. You are the most amazing daughter with the biggest heart. It's a trait that you can't teach and can only pray and hope your children have. You are so sensitive to people's feelings. Some may say you are "too" sensitive but I disagree. I don't think anyone could ever be too sensitive.

Today we celebrate becoming a family. That you are legally our daughter. That we gotcha Hannah. Even though our family didn't form the way I had hoped, it formed in God's way and for His glory. That is what it is all about.

You are our special daughter. God always knew it, we knew it from the day you were born, but it was on this date seven years ago that the courts knew it.

What a glorious feeling.

I love you baby girl.

Love,

Your heart mommy