I was tagged by onemorebaby:
What do you imagine for your life, personally, in the next four years? Where do you hope to live, what will you be doing? Dogs? Spouses? Jobs? Personal or finacial goals?
Thinking about the future scares me. I guess because I know Mark has beaten the odds by living as long as he has and I cherish every day I have with him. In four years, I pray so much that he will still be with me on this earth. I'm hoping to have a child...PLEASE Lord! I hope to still be working from home. I'm afraid my dog won't be alive then as he is 13 years old right now.....but I hope he beats the odds. I can't imagine living without him.
Wow...that's kind of depressing. I hope I have a child by then to make up for some of it.
Last night, I received an anonymous comment that was made to try to change my mind. Unfortunately, it just ticked me off. So, once again, I'm done with anonymous. It's so sad that I have to do that and it bothers me but I can't have negative comments when I'm trying to be positive.
This commenter linked me to a post saying that people were wrong to use donor and that it just brings an unhappy child into this world and that we should just adopt.
First of all, adoption is NOT an option for us. With Mark's health, there is no way he would pass any health questions.
Second, unhappy child??? I don't understand that. This child has a mother and father who love him/her soooo much that they are willing to put their pride down and get some help to bring him/her into this world. And if you think that's easy, it's not. It's the hardest thing I've EVER had to do....by far. But, I love our child so much that I'm not giving up and I will take the help if it's needed.
I realize I'm not my child and I don't know how he/she will react to us having help to bring him/her into this world. But I do know if it were me and I was hearing about all my parents went through, the financial expenses, emotional pain, physical pain, etc., I would be so honored that they went through that all for ME and that they love me that much that they never gave up on me.
And, I would love to see a post dedicated to those parents who are drug addicts, smokers, etc. who just dump their babies in the nearby dumpster to be found by someone else....now that's "love". And I'm getting put down because I'm using a donor?? I think something is seriously wrong.
So, to the anonymous commenter, I know you wanted to get me to think about our decision and you did. You made me realize how much I want this baby and how desperately I will do anything to get him/her here. So, you did make me think. I want to go this route even more and I'm more determined than ever. So, thank you. God bless you for helping me do that.
Birthday Fun
4 years ago
19 comments:
I'm sorry people have to be so rude Tammy.....You do what's right for you and your child WILL BE HAPPY!! Good luck, I'm praying for you!
I'm sorry you received the rude comment. Have a great week.
You go girl! : ) Any child would be HONORED to have YOU as their Mom!
I just don't understand anonymous. To me donor egg is JUST like adoption, you're just getting the egg rather than the child. With out a donor in both processes there would be no child so what's the big difference. Good for you Tammy for speaking your mind and kicking anonymous out of your life.
some people should just keep their thoughts to themselves! sorry you had to deal with that, hun!
You go girl, tell 'em! You are doing the right thing, don't let anyone get you down. Hugs.
Great post. Way to kick tush!
You know my feelings on ignorant and sheltered people.... just rise above and keep your head up.
xoxo and thanks for your comments on my blog :-/
I'm sorry that you had that comment! I have to say I do think about it all the time though - will my child feel some sort of loss not knowing the other part of his biological connection? But one thing for sure, he will always have the love and support of 2 parents and will never be left by the side of the road, in a toilet or dumpster, tossed aside like the garbage. So you are right, there is so much more to love and nurture than there is to biology. Biology does not make you a parent! I'm glad you stood up to that comment!
Ugg! I hate that these people hide their stupidity and bias behind "helpful advice" and that they do it all anonymously. Grow a pair and stand behind your comment people.
Good for you Tammy- I know it is easy to just walk away and ignore sometimes- but sometimes you gotta fight back.
Not everyone is supposed to agree with everyone- but a person should not cause malice either.
You are Mark will make great parents- donor egg, IVF, hatched in a nest, however a baby comes into your lives- who cares- just be the best parents you know how. I know you are a great Aunt for Peyton!
Posative thoughts- posative thoughts!
If some people are too rude to sign their own name then they are not trying to help you and I would ignore anything they have to say!! You know what is right for you and your family.
Your baby will be so happy to receive all the love you will give him or her. How amazing to be able to carry your child and mother this child.
I wish people like that would mind their own business. They have no idea what it takes to finally come around to this kind of decision.
You guys are the only ones that can know what is best for your family. We can all pray with/for you...that you will make the right decisions and have clear answers, but in the end, it's your decision. I'm sorry others have such strong opinions on what you should do...it doesn't help at all and I wish they could see that. You can never go wrong by staying positive and allowing God to lead you in all of this. :)
I don't always comment, but I am always reading and even more importantly, I'm always praying for you guys.
((HUGS))
I'm sorry Tammy! some people are just awful!!!
Hey Tammy!
I am sorry that this anonymous person chose you to leave such a comment. This person is obviously a miserable, grumpy, unhappy soul, and feels the need to try and cause wonderful people, such as yourself, grief.
Keep your head up!
HUGS!
Sorry you had to deal with that comment. Way to stand up for yourself though....
Tammy-
I understand you with the comments. I to had a negative comment last week, and I can't seem to shake it, and it wasn't nearly as bad as yours. I just wish these people would have enough guts to tell us who they are. A**holes.
-C
Someone once left me a comment about my babies not doing well in the NICU because I didn't visit them enough (AS IF! I was there 6-8 hours a day EVERY day!).
People make rude comments becuase they have nothing better to do and they are miserable so they feel that they have to make other people miserable too.
I just feel sorry for those sorts of people.
Just ignore them sweeite, let them carry on with their sad little lives.
Here from L&F. I'm sorry it will not work out with that donor.
I too had a comment trying to convince me that donor egg was wrong, however it wasn't an anonmymous one, she left her blog address. I read her blog, but decided against responding because we just were never going to be on the same page. We are in the process of testing 2 donors and hopefully one will pass all of the medical tests. We also have met both donor candidates and plan to have sort of an open relationship - just like an open adoption.
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