Our marriage with different priorities

Mark and I don’t have a typical marriage, especially for a 33-year-old. Our priorities are a lot different. We worry about medications, shots, doctor’s appointments and money. Other married people I know worry about jobs, kids, money, house repairs, etc. Both types of marriages definitely have struggles. In fact, everyone has struggles and no one can say who has it worse or who has it better. We all struggle, unfortunately.

I do admit, there are times, I wish I had a “normal” marriage for a 33-year-old. I wish we didn’t have to worry about doctor’s appointments and medications and our lives didn’t revolve around doctors and meds all the time. That my husband would go to work in the morning instead of sleeping all day and that I could call him at work and ask him how his day was going. That he would be working hard in the garage and I would have to yell at him to come in for supper. That he wouldn’t be around on a Saturday because he was out golfing with the guys. That we could take a walk without going half a block and having to turn around because it was too much on Mark.

Yeah, sometimes I wish that with all my heart. Maybe that makes me a bad wife for admitting that.

But, I know that wouldn’t be “us”. I’ve heard quite a few people who have told me that they wish they had my marriage and life and that they envy me. I admit, I used to be confused by that. Why would someone wish to have an ill husband and struggle with infertility issues?

But, honestly, I wouldn’t trade this marriage and life for anything. And I’m beginning to understand why people would say that to me.

Talk about confusing, huh? Sigh…..

There isn’t a day that goes by that I wake up so grateful to have Mark snoring by my side (and he sure does snore :)), that I’m grateful for the sunshine, that I’m grateful to hear Mark get up for lunch, that I’m grateful for a hug and a kiss, that I’m grateful for the times in the doctor’s office when we’re holding hands because we are anticipating bad news, that I’m grateful for the kisses of relief when his kidney numbers come back good, that I’m grateful that Mark can even walk as I know diabetics have had to have their legs amputated. I could go on and on.

Our priorities are different, but I believe we cherish life more because of it. We don’t take our time for granted. And I even cherish the times he is in the hospital or has an insulin reaction as we get through it by hugging and loving each other and lots of hugs when it’s all done. It’s like those times help us realize what is really important.

So, even though sometimes I wish we had the “normal” stressors, I’m grateful that we don’t. I’m grateful that we have the stressors that fewer people have because they have changed our lives and because of them, we look at the sunshine, life and world different. There are more smiles, hugs, love and gratitude.

People have said we have an amazing love and that they wish they had the love we have. I wish that for everyone. I’m so lucky and honored to be Mark’s wife for the last 8 years.