When we first started TTC.....

When we first started TTC, I didn’t know what OPKs, HPTs, DPO, BFP, BFN, RE, etc. meant.
Now....that’s a part of my daily conversation.

When we first started TTC, I excitedly bought OPKs and HPTs.
Now....we just paid our last payment from the loan we took out for the tests. Okay, not really, but it sure seems like it.

When we first started TTC, egg whites were something we ate.
Now....Mark will never eat egg whites again.

When we first started TTC, I peed in a toilet and flushed it.
Now....I’ve peed in cups and baggies and saved pee and I’ve done this in gas stations, restaurants, doctor’s offices, sporting events, porta potties and, if I’m lucky, at home.

When we first started TTC, I didn’t know what a basal thermometer was.
Now....we have 3 of them (from when I bought new ones thinking the old one just had to be broken because the temperature just had to go up as I know I ovulated…come on, admit it, you know you’ve done it :)). When I’m sick, the basal thermometer is the only one I can find and I won’t have a fever, but I think to myself that’s a post-O temp…at least I know I ovulated.

When we first started TTC, we were adamant that it would be “our” baby, Mark’s sperm, my eggs.
Now....we’d take a baby the mailman gave us and it’s tempting to go into high schools finding pregnant girls and running up to them begging them for their baby.

When we first started TTC, I excitedly walked through the baby section of stores, dreaming, wanting and sometimes purchasing.
Now....I will purposely walk to the other end of the store and around, way out of the way, just to avoid the baby section.

When we first started TTC, I loved going to baby showers, dreaming about how exciting it was going to be when mine came along.
Now....I have a crying fest when I get an invitation in the mail and I just can’t go to any anymore.

When we first started TTC, doctors were just a part of Mark’s life and his routine.
Now....they are more a part of my life and my routine and most have become like family to us.

When we first started TTC, hearing about my sister’s pregnancy stirred up more feelings of jealousy rather than excitement.
Now....I love and cherish Tyler and Peyton more than I ever thought I could. I am so blessed and I don’t think I would cherish and love them as much as I do if we hadn’t gone through what we have. I’ve gotten to watch Mark’s love grow with Tyler and Peyton and see his smiles and eyes glowing just talking about them and see how much they mean to him.

When we first started TTC, I had mostly just family and close friends’ phone numbers in my cell phone.
Now....I have 19 additional new numbers and some I talk to or e-mail more than I do some of my family.

When we first started TTC, Hawaii was a dream vacation for us that deep in my heart, thought it would always be a dream and not a reality.
Now....we have not only been to Hawaii, but we have also been to Texas which is another place we’ve always wanted to go and have met three very sweet blogger friends whom I cherish so much.

When we first started TTC, I mostly cried when I was sad or scared and mostly cried for myself.
Now....I cry all the time, when I’m sad, happy, scared, mad or excited and usually it’s not only for me, but for people I’ve met online and never met in real life but feel closer to some of my friends I’ve known all my life.


Like one of my favorite country singers says: “I could have missed the pain, but I’d of had to miss the dance” and “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”.